


Dancing In The Dark

by kennedyybrie



Series: In The Dark [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Anemone flowers, Angst, Curses, Death Eaters, Drama, Dreamless Sleep Potion (Harry Potter), Drugs, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Secrets, Flashbacks, Harry Potter - Freeform, Heartbreak, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Hurt/Comfort, Lies, Mythology References, Occlumency (Harry Potter), POV Draco Malfoy, POV Hermione Granger, Pining, Plot Twists, Potion Brewing (Harry Potter), Potions, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Drugs, Secret Relationships, Toxic Relationship, Violence, War, calming draught potion, dramione - Freeform, halfbloodprince, winter ball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:13:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kennedyybrie/pseuds/kennedyybrie
Summary: Taken place during Half Blood Prince. During their sixth year at Hogwarts. Draco is given the task of taking the dark mark, fixing the vanishing cabinet, and killing Dumbledore. A task he never thought he'd have to do was keeping his "relationship" with Hermione Granger a secret. Draco is struggling with all the secrets and lies, they're eating him up. Hermione is lying to everyone she loves and just wants Draco to be honest with her. Plot twists, romance, lies, heartbreak.They never suspected to end up Dancing In The Dark together... or wanting to go back to it.This story contains angst, drama, violence, heartbreak,  explicit sexual content, and other mature themes.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, others
Series: In The Dark [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129709
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I just wanted to give a brief introduction before jumping into this story.
> 
> This is indeed my first story posted and I am so excited to start this journey, where ever it may take me. If you have decided to give my story a read I want to thank you immensely because it truly means so much to me. 
> 
> I have been a huge dramione and Harry Potter fan for a very long time and thought it would be a good idea to give writing a shot. This story is written by me and edited by me so if you see any mistakes that's all on me. 
> 
> This will be first of many stories that I write and this one in particular - Dancing In The Dark - will have a sequel! I have many ideas for others series that I can't wait to jump into but for now this will be the only story I will be working on constantly. I am a college student so I have little free time so please bare with me for updates. My goal is to update a chapter a week but I will definitely let you know if I plan to update a chapter late. 
> 
> I will also be uploading each chapter on wattpad as well! You can find me at *scorpio-rise*
> 
> Lastly, I want to give a warning now that this story will contain Explicit language, Explicit sexual content, Violence, Graphic depictions of war, Alcohol consumption, and many mature themes. I will not be given any more warnings throughout the story so if any of those things trigger you please do not read!
> 
> I DO NOT OWN any characters. They belong to JKR. I will have my own plot but keep details and some story line from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
> 
> Thank you for giving my story a read! And I hope you enjoy!

~•~

September 1, 1991

~ The sorting hat ceremony~

The sorting ceremony has been going terribly slow. I think it's almost my turn, Merlin I'm nervous. If that obsolete hat doesn't put me in Slytherin father is going to have something to say about it. I really can't disappoint my parents, as the only Malfoy heir, I need to uphold our ancient legacy or I'll never hear the end of it.

So much pressure. My palms are starting to sweat.

"Mister Draco Malfoy" Professor McGonagall announced. Merlin I might vomit.

It suddenly became extremely quiet. Some whispers here and there but overall, crickets. I make my way to the platform and take a seat, praying to whatever Gods are out there to put me in Slytherin. "Slytherin Slytherin Slytherin" I repeat this manifestation mantra over and over, maybe the hat takes personal suggestions?

"Oh dear boy, the Malfoy heir" the hat growled. "Slytherin you say? but I can see you fitting just nicely in Ravenclaw" in a low voice the hat retorted. My palms are really sweating now and my leg won't stop twitching, can this end already? " Yes yes, I see intelligence, a long line of wisdom, fairly too much wit, and your future is indeed like no other Mister Malfoy" the idiotic hat continued to punish me. 

" I swear to Merlin if you put me in any other house besides Slytherin my father will gladly burn you at the stake, until you are nothing but a pile of ash" I hastily responded. "Very charming you are Draco. I can see how undeniably loyal you are, not to mention your blood status. Slytherin house is mostly made up of pureblood wizards" the hat declared. "Great, now can we wrap this bit up please, the poor quality of your being is messing with my hair" I'm really getting agitated now.

"One moment Mister Malfoy. Like I said before, your future is unlike anyone else. There will be challenges you will have to over come, choices you will have to make" the hat went on. 

What on earth has gotten into this primeval hats brain? If he even has one. To my dismay the old thing continued on, " Yes you will face many obstacles in the years to come, the balance of nature will be put off course and only you can decide to change that. A word of advice if I may, hold the things you value most close to yourself, don't be scared of taking your own path and do what you think is right. I have faith in you Draco" the hat finally finished. 

"SLYTHERIN!!" the hat bellowed. The Slytherin house roared in cheers.

Merlin I thought that would never end. I take a seat at the Slytherin table and I thank Merlin that Theodore Nott was also sorted into Slytherin.

My childhood friend, really the only person I know to be loyal to me. Growing up in the manor was lonely, it was desolate and the Nott family has been well acquainted with our family for many generations now, to my enjoyment Theo was at the manor regularly.

We often would climb the old English Oak trees far back in the Malfoy acres, race our brooms through my families quidditch pitch, and frequently cause trouble by taking fathers cane or going through the Malfoy family "forbidden" artifacts. One time we were messing around with this well aged looking artifact and we ended up turning the room upside down, it was relatively wicked. 

The point is Theo and I have been friends since birth, not that we had a choice in the matter but I'm not complaining. And having a loyal companion can only make my time at Hogwarts more pleasant.

But I can't seem to get what that brainless hat said out of my head. Choices I'm going to have to make? The course of nature becoming unbalanced? Obstacles I'm going to have to overcome? It's absolutely absurd to even think what my life will be like in the next couple years. What could've that senseless piece of fabric seen to make him fill my brain with all these crazy thoughts? 

August 25, 1997

"Harry, will you stop bringing it up!" I yell quietly while casting a silencing charm, not wanting any other students hearing our conversation. We are seated in our usual compartment on our way back to Hogwarts for sixth year and due to certain circumstances we were required to start school a couple days earlier than normal. 

This year feels different and for a lot of reasons. One reason being that - he who shall not be named - is out there, what we witnessed at Diagon Alley really shook me up and I can't get that feeling out of my head, empty... lifeless. All the shops were closed except for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes thanks to Fred and George, it reminded me of what a ghost town would look like. Diagon Alley used to be full of life and magic, I remember my first time going with mum and dad, it was my first time being introduced to this new world. A world full of things one couldn't even fathom being possible and now.. it's nothing, now all that life and happiness I once experienced is simply just gone. 

Another reason being what we witnessed after leaving the joke shop. Draco Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy at Borgin and Burkes. I tried and failed - which doesn't happen often but decided to drop it just for the sake of it - arguing that we don't really know what we saw, if it was even something worth seeing. Harry on the other hand is full of accusations and theories, which brings us to now on the Hogwarts Express.

"Hermione, you know what we saw. Malfoy is a death eater" Harry whispered the last part even with my silencing charm up. "Merlin Harry, we don't know what we saw" I was quick to jump in. "Hermione's right mate-" Ron said with a mouth full of chocolate frogs, "- we really don't have any proof" he finished while swallowing.

"Ron, would it kill you to once, just once talk without shoving that garbage down your throat" I let out an annoyed breath and my face turns sickened. 

"Ron you cannot be seriously defending Malfoy right now" Harry said with a shocked face. "Harry listen, I don't fucking like the git any more than you do but it's just a theory. We can't go going around accusing of him of being a death eater without actual proof" he replied waving his hands in the air. 

"Oh trust me, I'm going to prove it" Harry said while making his way out of our compartment. "Where are you going Harry?" I ask. "I just need to clear my head" Harry says walking off.

I look towards Ron and it takes him a minute took look up from his pile of cavities. "Ron I'm worried about Harry" I say with a somber tone. "I fear that he's going to take this, this, this obsession too far" I manage to get out whilst moving my hands to describe the situation. "'Mione I know it's a little much but I don't think it's an obsession" Ron responded then dove back into the bags of goods. I cross my arms and look out the window thinking of what harry meant by "proving it". I hear the door slide open with a squeak and turn my head to see who entered. I roll my eyes and bite down on my tongue staring at Lavender Brown. Lavender looks down at her feet and twirls one of her pigtails with her finger. My eyes move to Ron as Lavender coughs, making herself known. 

"Hi Ron" Lavender says with too much enthusiasm. She asks him if he wants to join her in her compartment and I already feel my cheeks burning with fire and my eyes go wide. Then, he gets up and excuses them without so much as looking at me. 

Why am I best friends with such twats? I let out an exacerbated breath, unfold my arms, and close my eyes. It's not that I'm jealous that Ron is giving Lavender so much attention because unlike her I don't need to be constantly praised to be secure with myself. My relationship - if you can even call it that - with Ron is... weird. That's honestly the best way to describe it, we aren't dating and we haven't done anything to move toward that stage but I thought that we had a mutual understanding of where our feelings were. I don't need this grade school drama to be added to the pile of worries. The worry at hand is Harry, studying for N.E.W.T.S, managing top of our class, all while dealing with the evil and darkness approaching slowly. The worry that isn't at hand is Ron and his poor excuse of a "girlfriend".

~•~

Merlin, what is Potter thinking? If he has any sense of mind maybe our little interaction on the train taught him something. I mean this year is already going to be stressful enough and I sure as hell do not need wonder boys grimy little nose in my business. Plus the fact that I have to continue going to pointless classes while dealing with my tasks at hand, I don't need any more distractions especially since my families life is in my hands. 

That pathetic excuse for a hat was right. 

At dinner after the sorting ceremony I don't touch my food because I can't stop thinking about that damned vanishing cabinet sitting in the Room of Hidden Things, just waiting for me. It's inevitable. "Oi, Draco-" Blaise snaps me out of the trance, "- what's golden boy over there keep staring at you for?" he finishes. I turn my head to see Potter staring daggers through me, it looks like he fixed his nose, I laugh to myself. "How am I supposed to know? Potters pathetic" I scoff.

I stand and walk out of the great hall not wanting to deal with anyone else and wanting to get a look at the cabinet. As soon as I turn the corner I hear footsteps not far behind me, looks like Potter didn't learn his lesson. I slip into an alcove waiting for the footsteps to get closer, they stop and I jump out with my wand pointed. 

"Woah Draco!" Theo said raising his hands in surrender. "Calm down mate" he said in defense.

"Theo what the hell man" I retort. "Why'd you leave dinner? You didn't even eat anything" Theo says while dropping his arms and smoothing out his robes. "I wasn't hungry" I use as an excuse. It obviously didn't work given the way Theo is eyeballing me. "Are you going back to the common room?" Theo questions, "I er-" I cough to clear my throat "- uh no, no I'm not" I manage to get out, not wanting him to inquire further. It's not that I don't trust Theo, I just don't want him getting involved. He hasn't take the mark.. yet, and I don't want to see his face once he knows what I am. This is going to be hard enough and I don't want my best mate feeling sorry for me or interrogating me to know more. 

Theo moves a couple steps closer to me. He whispers, "Draco where are you going?" I look away trying to avoid eye contact "No where Theo, just leave it" I clench my jaw hopefully sending him a message to not push the topic. But of course I can't always get what I want, "Draco, listen" he looks around to make sure no one is listening before he continues, "my father, he's told me things. Things I'm going to have to do, things you've already done". My blood is boiling, my breath picks up, I stare at him and say "what things Theo?." I see his eyes move, casted downward to my left arm then back to me and now he doesn't have to answer my question. 

I grit my teeth, clench my fists at my side, and my nose flares. I try and calm my breathing while he continues to stare at me. His expression changes and his eyes gloss over, I've never seen Theo this way. This is exactly what I didn't want, his pity, or anyone else's pity for that matter. But he did imply that he would be having to take the mark too so I guess I might as well share the burden. "Well, come on then" I say and walk past him expecting him to follow.

He catches up to me and he doesn't say word the entire walk to the Room of Hidden Things. I stop at the wall and start pacing, clearing my mind and asking for the room. "What in Salazar are you doing mate?" Theo says as he watches me. "Shut the fuck up Theo" I reply back, then the doors appear and I don't look at him as I enter. I stride past the piles and stacks of books almost touching the ceiling, I pass the old rusted furniture with films of dust coating them, and other miscellaneous artifacts until I reach the thing that has been and will be haunting me for these next few months and maybe years after too. 

~•~ 

My leg is bouncing up and down under the table and my hands are clamped together in my lap. Ron, obviously is holding two roasted chicken legs in both hands and stuffing his mouth with them and Harry is looking over my shoulder gazing at Malfoy who's sitting at the Slytherin table.

"Harry could you be more obvious?" I say with an anxious tone. "Ssh Hermione" he says while still looking over my shoulder so much that he almost fell out of the seat. "Harry would you quit it!" I'm getting aggravated now. He straightens in his seat finally meeting my eyes, "Hermione I get that I don't have any proof that he's a, a -er" he coughs " a you know what but I know that he is, I have this weird feeling that I can't shake" he finishes. "Look Harry, I know due to the circumstances-" I gesture with my hands and clear my throat "- that we are a little on edge but we can't just accuse based on "weird feelings" you're having" I say while he looks down at his plate that is still full of the roast dinner that was served. He doesn't respond so I ask " are you still planning on having those trainings with Dumbledore?", it takes him a minute to respond, "er, yeah, yes I am" he says not noticing that Malfoy just strode out of the great hall. 

"Good, that's great, I think that'll be a good distraction" I whisper the last part while standing up not knowing if he heard me or not. "I'll see you guys back in the common room" I don't wait for a response and I walk out of the hall.

I see Theodore Nott chase after Malfoy and they move around the corner. I stay back until they start moving again, not wanting my presence to be known. 

I get why Harry has his suspicions but I still don't think Malfoy could be capable of actually taking the mark, no matter how snobbish and pure his blood is. I saw him in the great hall and he looked, different. His face was stiff and rigid, his eyes looked cold and - dare I say it - lost. I've never seen him look so, so astray before. It's unlike him to act or look this way, it thought-provoked me. It drew me in and I can't stop thinking about the way his breath hitched when he saw Harry staring at him. 

I turn the corner after hearing the muffling of their voices come to a stop and just as I do so, I see them disappear into the Room of Hidden Things. A couple moments later - about 15 minutes to be exact - Theodore walks out with his head down and starts walking toward the Slytherin tower. I hide in a near alcove and against my better judgement I wait for Malfoy to exit.

~•~ 

If it wasn't for Theos breathing behind me I would think I was alone. He hasn't said a word and I haven't turned to look at him. After what seems like an eternity he coughs and comes to stand next me, I feel his gaze move from the cabinet to my face. "Draco" he waits until I face him to continue, "what is this?" I put my hands in my pockets and look back at the cabinet. "It's a vanishing cabinet, it's one of my tasks" I say the last part turning back towards him. "What do you mean Draco? What does it do? What are you supposed to do?" he asks in a rushed manner. "The - er, the dark lord has assigned me to fix the cabinet-" I flinch as I say it, "-the twin cabinet is located at Borgin and Burkes." I hear Theo take a breath, "what happens when it's, when it's "fixed"?" he uses air quotes. 

I clench my jaw and roll my shoulders back trying to relieve the pressure straining my muscles. "It's not something you need to worry about.. yet" he walks to stand in front of me, "listen mate, I know this time is, difficult, but you can tell me. I'm going to go through a, er, a change very soon and I think it would be best to, to be there for each other because there isn't exactly anyone I can talk to about this and I know you don't either, so whatever this cabinet does or will do just tell me" he gestures with his hands and has a pleading tone.

I hear my knuckles pop and I didn't even realize I was clenching my fists. I crack my neck and let out a heavy breath. "When the cabinet is, uh fixed, the erm- the, the dark lord will send death eaters through the twin cabinet at Borgin and Burkes and they will come out through this one" I let my head hang down and I shut my eyes, waiting for Theo to say something, anything. "Merlin" that's all he says with an alarmed tone. I look up, "he has my mum, if I don't do this, if I don't complete every task given to me, he will kill her and then he'll kill me." 

I try and shake the chill that just ran up my spine. Theos eyes have a twitch in them and he pats me on the back when he says, "I'm here Draco." 

Theo has a prior engagement and leaves after the conversation and mutual silence we shared. I stay for another twenty minutes, taking some time to inspect the damage. I notice the time and decide to call it a night and stalk out of the room. 

I take a right, heading to the Slytherin tower when I hear shuffling from behind me.

~•~

About twenty minutes after Theo left the doors open again and Malfoy is making his way toward the Slytherin tower. I peak out of the alcove and stay close to the wall, but his strides are too big and I almost trip over my robes trying to catch up, causing a bit of noise. Before I can straighten and get steady on my feet again, before I can even grasp what's happening, I feel strong hands wrap around my upper arms and drag me into what looks like the old divination classroom. I'm slightly thrown onto one of the old desks and it squeaks under me, scraping against the floor from my force. 

~•~

I turn around and see Hermione fucking Granger stumble over her robes. Where the fuck did she come from? Of course, Potter, sent his little golden girl to spy on me. Dumb bloke can't fight his own battles after getting a broken nose. 

Before I know what I'm doing, I stride towards her, grab her upper arms, and pull her into the old divination classroom. I throw her towards one of the desks and it makes an awful screeching noise. I cast a silencing charm and disarm her before she can even catch herself from my push. 

"Malfoy! what the fuck, give me my wand back this instant!" she says with a disheveled look. I put our wands in my back pocket and take two steps towards her, "ohh, I didn't know the Golden Girl had such a potty mouth" I say with a smirk. "So tell me Granger, why is it that you were following me huh? Potter send you to do his dirty work?" I see her breath hitch and she meets my eyes, have they always been so golden? I shake the thought.

"I, I don't know wha-" I don't let her finish, instead I take the couple of steps, to close the distant between us, until I'm inches from her face. I can tell she stops breathing because so do I. I don't know what got into me, with the damn cabinet and Potter breathing down my neck, I'm pretty sure all sense from my mind flew out the window. "Listen, Granger-" I lean forward and put my hands on the desk on opposite sides of her hips "- I don't know what your wonder boy thinks he's doing but it's not going to work, it's quit pathetic."

"First of all Malfoy-" her voice is barely there "- he hasn't sent me to do his "dirty" work and second of all he isn't pathetic." I let out a chuckle "oh that's rich, you aren't getting protective over your little boyfriend now are you? The boy who lived can't stand up for himself so he sends his mudblood girlfriend to do it for him?" she squints her eyes and clenches her jaw, she tries to wiggle free but I grab her hips to keep her in place. "Let me go Malfoy" she grits out and keeps wiggling, pushing up against the strain in my trousers that I didn't know was there. I let out a groan and her eyes flicker towards mine, I close my eyes and try to regain my composure. I lift my head and stare into her eyes, I notice the freckles going across her nose and onto her cheeks, I notice her pink tongue through her parted lips, and I notice how she slowly swallows and licks her lips.

I don't know what happened. I don't know who leaned in first. But my lips are on hers and I swallow her breath. Her hands move toward my shoulders and I move closer, taking the opening. I use my mouth to fight my tongue it's way into hers and after a while she surrenders giving me a perfect entrance. Our tongues mingle and I hear her groan at our first touch, my hands squeeze her hips and she rocks into my erection that's growing, I moan into her mouth and she only gets fierce, more hungry with the kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liability.

_Baby really hurt me_

_Crying in the taxi_

_He don't wanna know me_

_Says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm_

_Says it was poison_

_• Liability •_

~•~

In the dark. I pull away, her face is so close to mine. I can smell her sweet fragrance of vanilla, gardenia, and rose. I inhale deeply, never wanting her scent to leave my senses. We stare at each other for only a moment and before I know it, her mouth is on mine again.

My tongue enters her mouth almost immediately, she was just as urgent as I was and I make it a challenge to explore every inch of her mouth.

She overpowers my senses, it overwhelms me, and I'm stuck under her spell.

Her grip on my shoulders tighten and she pushes forward, grinding on the hardness in my trousers. "Fuckk Granger," I break the kiss and drop my head on her shoulder, trying to regain control.

My hands slip down from her hips to her thighs. Her glorious thighs, so smooth and perfectly spread for me. Once again, our mouths meet, this time I bite down on her plump bottom lip and her breath picks up. My hands rub her thighs before moving up and under her school skirt. She gasps from the contact of my hand cupping her sweet spot just over her silk knickers.

Our tongues continue to dance and she starts taking more from me. Her hands make their way into my hair as she slips her tongue over my lip. I push her knickers aside and my thumb rubs her flawless wet slit. I swallow her moan and push one finger into her tight cunt. I use the way she's clinging to me as a sign to move forward, pushing another finger in.

My other hand massages her thigh and I pick up the pace with my fingers, moving in and out of her so sweetly. She wraps her legs around my waist pulling me closer.

"Oh my god," she breaks the kiss and closes her eyes. I bring my thumb back to her clit as my two fingers pump in and out of her. "Malfoy," she says in a breath. Her head turns to the side and I take the opportunity to latch onto her neck. I find the spot that makes her eyes flutter shut, just below her ear. She's absolutely stunning. And she tastes fucking divine.

I can come undone just by little sounds escaping her throat. I don't think I've ever been so hard in my life. "Malfoy, oh my god," I stare in her eyes and whisper, "will you come for me granger?" I want nothing more than for her to come undone by my fingers. Fuck.

"Yes, oh god, please oh-" my fingers move faster and I bite down on the spot right under her ear again. Her eyes shut tight and her mouth opens in a silent scream but I still hear the moan that escapes from the back of her throat and I chuckle through my victory, "shit" she breathes out. Then I feel her walls squeezing my fingers like a vice and she coats them with all of her juices. "Fuck," I growl in ear and let my teeth graze and nip at her as she comes down from her orgasm.

Her breathing steadies and her eyes finally meet mine. I see that her eyes are glossed over and her breath hitches suddenly, like she's just now realizing that it was me who did that to her. And in an instant I realize what just happened, the spell breaks, and I escape the trance.

I pull my fingers out of her slick walls and stumble back quickly. Her face scrunches up and her eyes narrow. I look away from her eyes and move them to the scene in front of me. Her legs wide open while sitting on top of the desk, her school uniform is all scrunched up from the way my hands were tugging at her.

I notice the trail of love bites I left on her neck, I make my way to meet her eyes for a brief moment before her eyes flicker to the the hard-on bulging in my trousers. Instinctively I straighten up and adjust.

I can't believe what just happened, it was like I blacked out, went to a completely different head space. "Fuck!" I yell and rub my hands down my face. I hear her movement and I look up quickly to see her shifting of the desk and taking small steps towards me. "Don't," I say putting one hand up to stop her. Why did I let this happen?

I take another step back still trying to wrap my mind around what just happened. "Malf-" she starts but I cut her off. "Listen Granger-," I clench my jaw, "- you tell no one about this," I say with a scold on my face. Her eyebrows furrow and she wraps her arms around her chest, "you're a liability" I mumble. I leave the room without looking at her or saying another word.

I round the corner taking long strides; I couldn't get out of there quicker. I finally make it to my shared room with Theo and Blaise, their bed curtains are drawn so hopefully they're sleeping. I go to the loo and lean over the sink. My breathing picks up, my chest heaving, veins pumping, and my eyes burning; with all the force I have I slam my fist into the mirror, 1..2..3 times, "FUCK," I yell from the shards of glass that are lodged between my knuckles.

"FUCK," I yell from the shards of glass that are lodged between my knuckles  
I need to stop doing these foolish things. Mum, she needs me to do this, think about the women who took care of you, the women who would do anything for me. I need to do this for her, she can't afford me screwing up.

No distractions.

I reach for my wand to fix my hand and the mirror. "FUCKING SALAZAR," I pull out both mine and Grangers wand.

I slide to the floor and put my head in my hands. Not wanting to feel or think or deal with any of this right now; I clean my fist and fix the mirror then I grab a tumbler and fill it with Firewhisky. I gulp down the liquid and hiss at the burning sensation taking over my nerves. Then fill it again, drink, fill it again, drink. I repeat this painfully lovely process until I no longer feel anything. Until my vision becomes blurry and I feel heavy on my feet.

I strip down to my underpants, draw the curtains to my four poster bed, remove the blankets so I don't burn in my sleep, and slip in. My body tingles from the Firewhisky I just ingested, my eyes burn just a little bit more, then I shut them.

I take the moment to relish in the utter numbness coursing through my whole body.

Through my veins.

Through my bones.

Through every single nerve.

I hope for at least 3 hours of sleep tonight and that the terrors that constantly scratch at me from behind my lids; begging me to let them in, don't attack me tonight. But that's asking a lot and I should really learn to stop hoping.

~•~

I stare into his relentlessly cold grey eyes, coming down from the high I just experienced. His fingers are still in me and I furrow my brows and my breath hitches from my walls squeezing him one more time. Quickly, he pulls out and stumbles backwards, I narrow my eyes and hold the desk beneath me; just trying to gain some clarity of what just happened.

What did just happen?

I see his gaze dropping and scanning over my body, my legs still open on the desk and I can feel the trail of love bites forming on my neck, pulsing, burning; it's like electricity flowing through my body and all my nerve endings are on fire, still riding out the high.

I've never experienced anything like it before. I mean not with anyone besides myself and it still doesn't compare to the way his fingers felt inside me.

There was Viktor Krum during the Yule Ball but we only snogged. He tried rubbing me through my dress and knickers but it didn't stand a chance against what happened tonight, not even close; now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I faked it. But what Malfoy just did to me, Merlin, a burst of light shot behind my eyelids as they fluttered closed, my entire body and all my muscles were shook and convulsed from the ever so satisfying release. I forgot who I was and who it was doing it to me.

I'm hungry for more. And I don't think I'll be able to get enough of it.

I cast my eyes downward and see the hard-on that formed in his trousers. He was turned on too. Fuck.

He straightens up and adjusts himself trying to hide his bulge. His face turns into regret and he yells. I know what we did wasn't right - considering that I'm me and he's well, Malfoy - but I couldn't help feeling the way I did, it was too good not to give in. I shift off of the desk and pull down my skirt, I take a few steps towards him and he holds his hand up telling me to stop. I can see the anger, disgust, and the distress in his eyes and across his face.

He's ashamed.

I feel a pang in my chest and I wrap my arms around myself; suddenly feeling really exposed and vulnerable, "-you tell no one about this," he says with a mortified tone. As he swiftly exits the room he mumbles something but I can't make it out.

My fingers trail over my swollen lips and down my bruised neck, I shake the shiver that snuck up my spine.

I am absolutely humiliated. He was so disgusted by me. I feel like dirt, I feel like a towel he just used and threw away. How could I have been so naïve. What I let happen shouldn't have happened. That was something to do with someone who I trusted; someone who cared about me but the look I saw in his eyes made me feel worthless. He couldn't even look at me.

I'm even more angry that I'm letting someone like Malfoy make me feel this way. I'm fucking Hermione Granger; brightest witch of our age. So I decide to shove this night away and carry on with my life, carry on with my plans and ambitions.

I don't need to deal with any of this, especially with Malfoy. I deserve more. Better.

I look around the room for my wand and I don't see it, I look on the floor; nope, maybe it's on the desk? Shit.

Malfoy.

~•~

"Please, please don't hurt her," I'm on my hands and knees begging.

"She did nothing wrong, I failed you; not her. Please hurt me instead."

I'm sweating and tremors are coursing through my joints. Tears streaming down my face

"Crucio!"

I see my mother fall to the ground, her eyes are blood shot, and she's shaking from the pain; fighting to hold in oxygen.

"You disappoint me young Draco; just like your poor excuse for a father."

"Crucio!" He hits her again; this time holding it longer.

"STOP STOP STOP"

"PLEASE STOP" I'm screaming.

"DRACO," I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"DRACO! WAKE UP!"

I open my eyes, my vision is blurry and my front hairs are sticking to my forehead from sweat. I look around and see my hands clenching my bed beneath me; my hands are white from my strong hold. I look to my left and see Theo hovering over me; one hand on my shoulder.

"Fuck, Draco, are you okay," I see the worry in his eyes. "You've been screaming for a while, I couldn't wake you up."

I let out a breath I've been holding in, I sit up against my headboard and bring my legs to my chest and let my arms drape over them. "Shit," I say back. I get this burning, pricking pain in my left arm.

My Dark Mark.

I lift my arm to get a better look and the edges of the skull are swollen; blister red, with pieces of my skin flaking off. "Fuck," I grip my arm tight, praying that the searing pain stops.

"Draco, that er-, that doesn't look so good," Theo says while scratching the back of his head. "Way to state the obvious mate," I reply with a hiss.

"It was just a nightmare," I tell him; hating the silence. "Do you want to talk about it?" Theo asks. "No, no not really, fuck this hurts," the pain only gets worse; turning into a dull ache shooting down my forearm.

"Is there a reason it's doing that?" Theo asks with a distraught expression. "I have no bloody clue," I answer. "Did something happen last night?" he doesn't stop with the questions.

Last night. Fuck, last night.

Everything comes back to me now, Granger.

The classroom.

Her lips sucking mine.

My fingers-

Fuck; I was so hard.

Shit, I have her wand.

My head is pounding, my ears ringing; I put the heel of my hand to my temple. I turn my head to my nightstand and see the empty bottle of Firewhisky and a tumbler. Theo's catches the gaze; I've taken too long to respond.

"Er-, no, no nothing happened," I lie straight through my teeth; hoping it was convincing. The smoldering burn in my arm just won't let up; I need something, anything to relieve the pain; something to numb the pain. I rise from my bed - not looking at Theo - and head to my chest resting at the foot. I fling it open, grab a new bottle of Firewhisky; I don't wait to reach a tumbler, instead I pop it open and bring the glass bottle to my mouth, gulping down as much as I can until the fire attacks my throat.

"Woah Draco, a little early for that isn't it?"

"Well I wouldn't be doing this if this fucking brand on my arm didn't cause so much suffering," I grit my teeth and gulp more whiskey down; closing my eyes tight from it scorching my insides. "Well getting drunk at eight am and before class isn't going to do any good," he waits for my response; but I don't give one, waiting for the fiery liquid to take action. "Look mate, if you're looking to 'numb' the pain that's not going to work-" I stare up at him; still on the floor above my chest, I snap it shut, waiting for him to continue, "that ," he points at the bottle, "is only going to get you drunk enough to forget about the pain, if you really want to ease it you need something else."

"Okay, and what would that be Nott?" I inquire curiously.

"Er-, do you know Dean Thomas?" I eye him suspiciously; what would Dean Thomas exactly have to offer? "Yes, a Gryffindor; and please enlighten, how is it that Thomas is relevant in curing my little.. problem?" I stand to near him.

"Well as you may know, Dean is a muggle-born-" he coughs and averts his eyes, but I step closer; trying to grasp his knowledge, "- he has access to muggle 'remedies'; certain substances if you will," I squint my eyes; not fully understanding what Theo is exactly saying. "Theo care to elaborate; my buzz is starting to kick in and my head hurts."

"Drugs. Thomas has access to drugs. Drugs that will help relieve the pain and will actually do a little something to you as well," Theo pears out the door making sure no one is around then steps closer to me. "And have you, Theo, partaken in said 'drugs'?" he chuckles lightly; what is it that he finds amusing about this?

"Actually, yes, yes I have; and that's precisely how I know about Thomas and his little affairs. He sells to me and a few others."

"Alright, and which drug would you suggest I try?" it can't hurt to try right? I mean anything is better than feeling this insufferable twinge in my arm. So what's the harm. To hell with it.

"Well what're you looking for?-" Theo walks over to his trunk and pulls out a folded piece of paper; which appears to have a list of all the substances Thomas carries. "-Do you want to feel relaxed or alert? Hungry or euphoric? Heighted senses or sleepy?; it's really up to you, and each drug affects people differently."

"I want-" I cough "I need, something to numb the pain but also make me feel something .. anything." Anything that isn't Granger. Anything to take my mind off of the way she felt beneath my touch.

Theo takes a moment to elaborate then checks the list once more, "I will recommend two things; one being weed and the other being cocaine. But Draco, you need to listen to me on this. Weed is nothing compared to cocaine; this is only a temporary fix, a temporary high if you will. Don't abuse it-" he puts a hand on my shoulder and gives me a somber look, "-because it can get really bad if you rely too much on this 'fix'. If you need any help; I'll be here, and so will Blaise.. he's experienced some, complications."

"Okay," I respond. 'Complications' doesn't sound too great. But whatever happens I'll need to stay focused on my tasks at hand. I only have until the beginning of April; and that's at the latest.

"I'll go with you to Thomas; I'm running low on my stash."

~•~

I wake up with a splitting headache and a soreness between my legs. Merlin.

Last nights endeavors, shouldn't have happened; plain and simple. But I'd be lying if I didn't say it was bloody fantastic. I woke with the sunrise and lie on my back; relishing in the sweet love bites that trail down my neck. I let my hands roam down my body; taking the same path he did and letting my body succumb to the sentiment. My eyes flutter open and I stop myself before continuing further.

I reach over to my nightstand completely forgetting that Malfoy has my wand; I huff an annoyed breath. I go to the loo for a quick shower then dress and try to do something to tame the nest that lays on top my head. I settle on a simple braid; leaving a few curly strands out and then tying it with a velvet red ribbon, since I don't have my wand this will have to do.

I meet Harry and Ron in the common room before we head to the great hall for breakfast.

"Blimey, Hermione, what's that on your neck; right there?" Ron asks while squinting his eyes and pointing at me with his index finger.

Shit. I didn't conceal the love bites.

"Oh, it's er-, it's just a rash," I say rushed while adjusting my collard shirt to cover it. Thank Merlin Harry is to enamored with that bloody map to have witnessed Ron's analysis.

"You should probably get that checked out; hopefully it isn't contagious," he says while taking a few steps away from me. "Don't be silly Ronald, I'm perfectly find. Shall we go?"

Harry hums in approval and Ron takes off; apparently too delighted with the fact of eating, leaving me to walk with Harry.

"Harry please put that bloody map away will you,"

"Hermione, I'm trying to prove that Malfoy is a, you know what," he says while almost toppling over a second year. I give the poor girl an apologetic smile and turn to stop in front of Harry putting my hands on my hips. "Alright then, let's hear it,"

"Well I've been watching him for the past couple days now and ever now and again he just disappears from the map, I think he goes into the Room of Requirement but I don't know what for yet," he says with a huff.

He's been watching him for the past couple days. Fuck I was with him last night; since he didn't mention anything maybe he went to bed early. It would be a major problem if he did see us together. What would he say? He would be so disappointed in me. I wipe the troubled look I was just gleaming with right off my face and put my hands in my robe pockets to stop myself from picking at my cuticles.

And so what if he saw us together, I mean it wouldn't be ideal but I am my own person; a strong, beautiful, independent witch who is allowed to do whatever with whom ever, even if that whom is Malfoy. I shake the thought of him that keeps creeping back inside my brain and continue walking.

"Okay well there's no use stalking him right now, it's breakfast so he'll be in the great hall; and you can stare at him all you like there, now come on will you," I say with an anxious tone; being in the same room with him, with his eyes, and he's hands. No stop Hermione. There will be no such thoughts; just eat breakfast and figure out how to get your wand back.

I make it to the great hall and I walk in quickly, not wanting to draw attention to myself.

All of a sudden my shoulder hits someone else and I'm falling to the ground; trying to catch my self with my hands but I was too slow and only one of my hands was able to gain some stability. I look up to see who it was that ran into me.

Of course. Pansy Parkinson. With one Draco Malfoy by her side. Great.

"Watch where you're going you filthy mudblood," she hisses at me. "For fucks sake, the last thing I needed was to have your worthless, pathetic, dirty person touching me. My blood is too pure for dirt ," she spits the last part. I move my hair further out of my face and see Malfoy chuckling along with the other Slytherin boys.

"Well are you just going to lay there like the mud you are?," Marcus Flint says amusingly.

I'm frozen. Absolutely petrified. What makes them so much better than me. What makes their blood pure and mine stained. I feel a pang in my chest as I make eye contact with Malfoy; tears pricking my eyes, after what just happened last night this is what he does. He does nothing. My heart beat is skyrocketing, my limbs paralyzed and I don't have my wand to defend myself; they're still hovering over me and murmuring things to one another. Where the fuck is Harry.

I see him finally enter the great hall with his eyes still glued to that insane map. People are laughing and I couldn't get up quicker; I stumble at first trying to gain balance and rush back to my room. I hear from behind me, "awe brightest witch of our age can't even defend herself," then laughter bellowing in my ears.

The tears prodding to come out finally fall down my cheeks and I feel my hands and legs starting to shake. I bolt straight to my room and crawl into my four poster bed and bring the covers secure around my body looking for a feel of protection. Normally I never let what people say get to me this way; everything they said I've heard before but this time, this time when I saw Malfoy just standing there; entertaining their rude comments, and right after what happened between us, it was too much, it was like he wouldn't give me the time of day and that hurt. Especially when I've already given a part of myself to him. He took it and spat it right back out to me.

And where were my friends. The people I cherish and love the most. No one was there for me. Harry was too obsessed with bloody Malfoy and his insane theories to even notice what was happening right in front of him. Ron was sucking face with Lavender and stuffing his mouth full of eggs on top of that. I was there, right by there sides when Malfoy or the other Slytherins had something to say to them, I was the one to fight for them; and they didn't even acknowledge what happened.

My entire body is shaking now. I felt, I feel so alone; like no one truly cares what happens to me. My stomach sinks and my vision blurs even more.

I decide to refrain from going to class today, I just lie in my bed; careful not to move the covers from where they are because it's my only sense of protection and I shut my eyes with my head pounding and stomach stirring. No one even came to check on me.

I let the last tear fall and then I surrender to sleep. Hoping to find safety there.

~•~

I get this strange throb in my chest. The look I saw in her eyes; it was something I've never seen before from her. Her deep golden eyes glossed over and her mouth parted at Pansy's and Marcus' comments.

She's supposed to be strong, brave, she shouldn't let their comments affect her. But I can see that they did. Where the fuck is Potter and that Weasel of his, why isn't anyone helping her, why am I just standing here?

Coward.

I feel my cheeks and neck burning; she stumbles as she tries to stand and I stop my arm from reaching towards her.

Coward.

My eyes gaze down her body. The body that I was holding last night, the body that was holding me closer. My eyes gaze over her face. The face that was so close to mine, the face that projected - projects - beauty. My eyes stare into hers. The eyes that tightly shut when she reached release, the eyes that make my stomach twist and turn. Finally my eyes roam down her neck and see a glimpse of love bites; the love bites I gave to her, the love bites she didn't conceal. Fuck me.

Coward.

I'll never forget the look in her eyes, the look of fear, shame, and loneliness. When did I become so enamored with her? How come I haven't noticed before?

It's probably nothing, we shared a heated -sexy- moment last night and I'm a sixteen year old boy with hormones. For all I know she probably fed me a lust potion or something.

A tug on my arm pulls me out of thought.

"Come on Draco let's get some food, Merlin that mudblood is a pathetic excuse for a witch."

"Pansy, must you talk so damn much, your voice is piercing my ears so stuff it would you," I squint my eyes and pull my arm out of her grasp. I have no idea where that came from.

I take a seat next to Theo and look over at the Gryffindor table; trying to figure out why in Merlins name Potter and the Weasel did nothing for their said 'best friend'. First I see Potters eyes glued to a piece of parchment then my eyes find twat number two and he's too busy shoving his tongue down that annoying Brown girl. Absolutely pathetic. Why is she even friends with the two of them; they don't deserve her, not one bit. I growl and my brows furrow.

You don't deserve her either.

For fucks sake. I need to meet with Thomas.

~ Later ~

Where the fuck was she?

She wasn't in any of our shared classes and I haven't seen her with wonder boy or his sidekick all day. Surely they've noticed her absence, right?

I'm sitting on the black chaise - skipping dinner - having a glass of Firewhisky and I can't seem to stop thinking about her. My head is spinning with hundreds of possibilities as to why she skived off classes; I mean it's fucking Granger, book warm, know it all little swot, I thought the world would practically end the day Hermione Granger doesn't show up for class. I growl in frustration.

I don't know why it bothers me so much but she owes me an explanation.

I gulp down the last bit of Firewhisky in my glass and make my way out of the common room. As if reading my mind; I stride around the corner and there she is, walking toward the dungeons.

I freeze dead in my tracks. She glares at me with a stone cold expression.

I hate that I can't read her.

"Malfoy" she says stopping right in front of me.

~•~

I wake up towards the end of the day. I check the time and it seems like the last classes of the day just finished. I groan and get out of bed and head towards the loo. I stare at myself through the mirror and notice the that my eyes are red and puffy along with my lips and nose. Why am I so pathetic?

I rinse my face; trying to relieve the swelling but it doesn't seem to work. I just remembered that Malfoy still has my wand so I can't cast a charm to help in that department. Swallowing my embarrassment I decide to get changed and find Malfoy while everyone's at dinner; hopefully he's not in the Great Hall.

I throw on jeans and a knit sweater and hold it close to myself still looking for comfort. I wrap my arms around my chest and make way to the dungeons.

As I'm walking - thankfully I don't run into anyway - I replay over and over again what happened early this morning. I felt true humiliation and loneliness; I was actually very scared. I feel even more worse that not even my two best friends didn't notice the altercation. And to make matters worse for myself I basically handed over my surrender to the Slytherins by not showing up to class.

I hold my arms closer around my chest and turn the corner to the dungeons. A gust of wind throughs back my hair and the cold eeriness sends a shiver up my spine. I look up from the ground and see Draco Malfoy standing there.

I don't hesitate with my movements; I just keep pushing forward, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of me running away. I don't change my expression; not even an ounce of a crinkle of my nose or a flicker in my eyes. I already know about the evidence that lies on my face; showing just how pathetic I am.

I stop right in front of him, "Malfoy"

Now that she's much closer to me I can see the redness surrounding her eyelids and nose, I can see the puffiness of her eyebrows and lips. Her arms are crossed; wrapping around her chest.

And here we go with twinge in my chest.

"Granger," that's all I say because I'm at a total loss for words right now.

"I've come to collect my wand," I say without meeting his eyes. The same eyes that draw me into sea, the same eyes that watched me on the floor.

Her wand, that's right; I mean why else would she be down here?

Look at me. Why won't you look at me?

"Oh, er- yeah, your wand," I say through a cough.

Look at me.

I need to do something to get her attention, something to bring out know it all Granger, anything to get her back; I'm not use to this Granger, I'm in unknown territory.

I'm use to the Granger who really is the only who can keep up with my banter, the only one who can put me to shame when it comes to talking about books. I need that Granger back.

So I have an idea; it's probably not the best idea but it'll work.

"And here I thought you were coming for round two of our little engagement," I say with a smirk and a lift of my brow.

"Why in Merlins name would you think that Malfoy? Now would you just give me my wand back," I drop my arms from my chest and put my hands on my hips.

"My my my Granger, now where are your manners; only good girls get what they want," I fucking wink at her.

Why did he just wink at me?

"Malfoy, what do you want huh? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg?" Fuck; I probably shouldn't have phrased it that way. Just by the way his eyes flickered and his throat bobbed; I can tell I shouldn't have said that. UGH! he just knows how to get under my skin.

Holy fuck, the image of Granger getting on her knees for me; fuck. I feel my cock jump at the sentiment.

Fuck this, I surrender, I fucking give up.

I step closer to her but before she moves away too quickly I grab her arm and pull her into the broom closet. I pin her against the shelves; trapping her with my arms, close enough to take what I want. But I need to know what she wants first.

"What is it that you want Granger?" I ask through gritted teeth, my jaw clenching as her eyes stare into mine.

What do I want again? Fuck, why is it that when it comes to Malfoy I lose absolutely all my brain cells.

Your wand.

Oh that's right. "I-I already told you I want my wan-"

I cut her off with a growl, "Not your wand Granger, what do you want?" I see her stop breathing and I inch my face closer to hers. Her throat bobs and I almost lose it.

He's inches away from my face, so close to my lips; I can sneak my tongue out and get a taste. My eyes are locked on his lips then they move to his eyes.

I hadn't realized blue could be filled with such hot fire, not until I saw his his; his are ocean strong with warm sun-lit currents. The deep blue of every dancing sky, infinite hues illuminated by newborn light.

They bring me a sense of comfort, they shine of passion and purpose, fire and ice.

I could look at them for the rest of my life and be perfectly content. Safe.

So when he asks me 'what it is I want' all I want to say is you.

I step closer to her, our eyes never leaving each other; a breathy moan emerges from her perfect mouth and I know that she can feel how hard I am for her.

When he steps closer I feel his hard erection pressing against my torso and I suddenly become a different person; filled with desire and need.

"I want you,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I just want to thank everyone who is giving my story a chance! I would love to read your comments and any feedback you have, it would help me tremendously with producing the best possible story I can. This chapter is a bit longer than chapter 1 so I hope you enjoy :) Next chapter will be out next Monday or possibly sooner!
> 
> Also I wanted to let you know just in case there was any confusion, this story does have both hermione's and draco's pov and they are separated accordingly. There will be times; just like in this chapter, when I do both of their pov's at once. If you are ever getting confused just let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Powerful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how late this chapter is. School is taking up a lot of my time and I just wanted to make this chapter as good as possible. I plan to release chapter 4 very soon because I don't want to keep you guys waiting. I have many plans for this series and I'm so excited to share it with you all. 
> 
> Again thank you to everyone who is giving my book a chance and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

_There's an energy, when you hold me_

_When you touch me, it's so powerful_

_I can feel it, when you hold me_

_When you touch me, it's so powerful_

_• Powerful •_

~•~

Fuck. I see her eyes glistening with need; want. I won't be able to control myself, nope, we are far from control. My walls shatter and her scent in the wind snap the flowers open; I'm a goner.

Like waves crashing on rocks; his lips meet mine. In an instant I give into the feel of him. Finally, the way his mouth moves with mine is so natural, so familiar, so powerful. I wrap my arms around his neck; pushing against him as hard as I can, just wanting to be as close as possible. I fight my way into his mouth; our tongues connect at last, and a bolt of electricity shoots through my body, from my head to my toes. It's like a drug I never want to part with. An addiction. A high.

Her small hands find their way into my golden locks and I snake my arms around her waist; grinding my erection on her torso; trying to relieve some pressure. If we don't stop soon I'm going to spill my load right here in my trousers. "Fuck," I manage to get out; breaking away from her lips to gain some composure. She grunts in frustration and I don't know how far we'll go but if we pass a certain point I won't be able to hold back, stop myself.

"Malfoy, why'd you stop?" I let out a frustrated growl. A pressure forms between my thighs, I rub against him for friction. "Granger," I put my hands on her shoulders and stare into her seductive golden eyes, " I told you, Malfoy, that I want you," I don't necessarily know what I mean by that; but I'm so driven by the high coursing through me I don't want to stop. "Do you want me?"

"Fuck, do you not feel what you're doing to me right now?" I stare down between us and get a good look at my now pulsing cock. I see when she sucks her plump bottom lip between her teeth; a curious expression showing on her face, my breath picks up when I feel her right hand let go of my neck and makes it way down to my erection. I close my eyes and lean into her touch; her small, soft, pure hand rubbing me through my trousers. "Granger, fuckk, I won't be able to hold back."

"Then don't," I whisper; turned on by the way he's reacting to the way I touch him. His eyes snap open and I see his pupils dilate; he growls in my ear and lifts me off the ground, picking me up from my thighs. He carries me to an old broken desk sitting in the corner and sets me down.

I push her hand off my bulge so I can get her caught up with me. I spread her legs forcefully apart and she moans in anticipation. I never look away from her eyes as my hand follows the oh so familiar trail up her thigh; I rub circles at the top of her thigh, getting extremely close to her sensitive core. I want to tease until she's begging me, begging me to touch her. And it doesn't take long because she's pulling me closer until our noses are touching.

"Malfoy, if you don't touch me right now, I'm going to walk out of this broom closet and find my own release in my bed," she says with a smirk pulling at the corner of her lips.

"Can I watch?"

"You prat- ohh god" yes, finally. He pushes my knickers aside and greets my wet throbbing clit with his thumb, I close my eyes and bite my lip; getting lost in the addicting sensation.

"What was that Granger?"

"Fuck, please don't stop," I seek out his mouth; missing the way he works my mouth with his tongue. I let out a breathy moan and it only encourages him to slide a finger into my cunt.

"More," he adds another digit and I buck my hips; meeting each push and pull of his fingers.

I am so fucked. My cock is throbbing from how turned on I am right now. Just thinking about sliding into her tight hot cunt with my pulsing cock almost sets me off. She's whining and cursing under her breath, her eyes filled with fire and desire. Her hand finds my erection once more and I drop my forehead onto hers; staring deep into her eyes, relishing in the way she numbs my pain. No, she doesn't numb the pain, she gets rid of it; all of it. I just know that I won't tire of this feeling; the feeling she conjures for me. She latches onto my neck; biting down on the spot that makes me shiver.

"Merlin."

My fingers pick up the pace; moving in and out of her at a faster pace then before and I know it she's close. I take the opportunity to unbuckle my belt and grab my cock with my left hand. I stroke myself a few times then squeeze at the base; giving myself some attention.

I see him work and pump himself with his left hand, I try not to stare at the sight of him but fuck, he's big; like really big. And suddenly I'm worried; I didn't know how far we would go, but the thought of having sex with him is intimidating. Especially since I've never had sex. Does he know? Fuck he has to know. And if doesn't already know then he will soon. I grab his shoulders as he lines himself up at my entrance; the sense of excitement and anticipation washes through my core and in the pit of my stomach.

Her hands are gripping my shoulders and I'm so close to entering her. Fuck I'm not gonna last five minutes. The tip of my cock barely enters her; sliding up and down over her glistening folds, and she wincing at the pain? Why is it hurting her? Oh fuck. No. No.

She's a virgin.

"Granger, fuck" I can't stop myself; as soon as I get a feel of her tight walls clamping down on my dick, I won't stop. I can't. I push forward; overwhelmed by the sensation, the heat of her cunt is sending electricity down my spine. "Malfoy, that hurts."

How do people have sex? This is not what I expected; I feel a pinching pressure, something tearing, I close my eyes at the pain and dig my nails into his shoulders.

"I know Granger, but I can't stop, just try and relax, it'll be over soon," the pace I have, moving in and out of her, is absolute torture. All I want to do is slam into her all the way to the hilt, fuck her until I see stars. But the fact of hurting her makes me gain some control. As much as I want to completely let go, I can't. I have to make this somewhat enjoyable for her.

I stop my movement, "Granger, look at me," she opens her eyes and I see tears forming in the corner of them. "Squeeze my shoulders okay?" she nods in acceptance and I bring my thumb back to her clit; hoping that it'll balancing out the pain. I start off slow to see how she reacts; rubbing circles on her swollen nub. I see relief wash over her face and her hands loosen on my shoulders.

"Mmmm," she lets out between biting her lip.

This feels better, much better. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer, so he sinks deeper into me. "Oh fuck, shit" he says and starts moving again. The thought of me being his undoing pushes me over the edge, chasing after release. The pain is gone and is replaced with a burning uproar of emotions and feelings.

I stare into her fierce, sunken, and penetrating honey comb eyes and what I see is pure bliss. "Malfoy, don't stop, please don't stop!," I pick up the pace with my thumb; continuing to slide in and out of her pussy with more force from my cock - and help her reach release.

"Oh god- fuck, dra- Malfoy, I'm close- so, close," this feeling right here will be carved into my bones until the day I die. Fire rising and stirring inside of me, pleasure taking control, the high only growing stronger.

"Say it, please say it" I pump in and out of her glorious cunt searching for my own release as well. All I want is for her to let go, completely let go; with my name on her lips as she comes. Her walls start to pulse and I know that she's about to come undone; by me, her first time.

"Ahhh, fuck, oh fuck- oh my god,"

"Say it," I bite down on her neck; just below her ear and suck her skin into my mouth.

"Shit, DRACO!"

My name rolls off her tongue like it was always meant too and I feel her walls squeeze my cock like a vice; I can barely move. Her sweet juices coat my dick; her legs trembling and I fuck her through her orgasm; I'm so fucking close.

"Fuck, you feel so fucking good,"

That was fucking amazing. My first time. With Draco fucking Malfoy and the rumors of him being a sex god don't disappoint. I can tell he's close, really close. I want to help him reach the edge so I bring my hands around his waist and grab his arse; helping him push in and out of me, then I latch onto his mouth. Sucking and licking at his tongue and lips; swallowing each of his moans. The desk beneath me squeaks because of how hard he's fucking me; it moves against the floor and collides with the wall. I've never seen this look in his eyes before. Desire, passion, pure ecstasy.

"Holy fuck, you're so tight, so good, the fucking best, can't get enough," I'm no longer coherent; from the pleasure and thought of spilling my seed in her; I'm lost in the feeling.

"Come for me, please" I stare into her big doe eyes and let go. She's so fucking beautiful.

"FUCK, FUCK!" With one final push, my come shoots out a coats her cunt; my legs shake from finally reaching release. Never before has that happened. Not once. Not with pansy or any other witch I've been with; no matter how experienced they are.

I'm so fucked. Literally.

I realize that she's planting open mouth kisses all over my face and neck. This witch. This beautiful, know-it-all little witch. I grab her face with both of my hands and tilt her head to meet my eyes. She looks at me with passion and intensity; it gives me a feeling of warmth and comfort. I plant my lips on hers and take control of the kiss.

The kiss is different; not like how we've kissed before. It's slow and passionate, our breaths mingle and our tongues dance together in the darkness of the broom closet. I pull her closer to me; if that's even possible with my cock still deep inside her.

It's like lightning when swimming in the sea, like walking on wires and power lines. She charges me up like electricity and jumpstarts my heart with hers. I get a weird feeling in my stomach; almost like a flutter and I hug her with my arms, while still being gracious with my lips.

This is unchartered territory for me. Usually after I shag a witch I just leave, not wanting to deal with the other parties emotions. But this time, with her; all I want to do is hold her and embrace her touch.

When he holds me in his arms, it burns like fire; electricity.

When she's close I feel the sparks. Takes me higher to infinity.

~•~

After what feels like hours of lingering kisses and touches; I feel him soften inside me and slip out. I severe the hold he has on my mouth so I can catch mine breath and he rests his forehead on mine. His steel grey eyes glistening with something that scares me.

The unknown. The fear of what happens next

I can only speak for myself but what I just felt; what he caused me to feel, has brought a new meaning to my life, a connection that I don't want to lose. Does he feel it too? Or is this something he normally does?

Of course he does. Don't be naïve Hermione; they don't call him the Slytherin sex god for nothing. But exactly how many times does this happen for him? A pang of worry washes over me and my heart beat quickens when he kisses me slowly again.

Please don't let this end. Please don't let him be cruel. Please let him feel it too.

I break the kiss this time; I sense her shift and I want to know what she's thinking. That was undeniably the best fuck I have ever had, but do I show all my cards at once? I take a step back; literally and figuratively. I help her off the desk and I help straighten her school skirt, also buckling my trousers back up. The tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

I run my hand through my hair; the hair that she had her hands all over. All I want is to stare and look into her eyes but my worry and nervousness get the better of me. Did I take advantage of her? Did she enjoy it the way I did?

Merlin what has gotten into me. I'm fucking Draco Malfoy for Salazar's sake, pureblood, intelligent... death eater. Fuck. Me a death eater just took the golden girls virginity, on a broken desk, in the broom closet. What have I done?

This is quite the opposite of what was supposed to happen. I was supposed to detach, stay away from distractions; but I'd be lying if I said she wasn't a fantastic distraction. A beautiful, glorious distraction. Maybe this could be good for me, to relieve some stress with a willing sexy witch.

"Um-" I cough, not knowing what to say, "- do you want me to, er walk you to your dorm?" She stares at me with hope and expectations shining in her eyes and maybe a sense of hesitation.

I wonder for a moment what his intentions truly are. I can't help but wonder if this is a big master plan to humiliate me in front of the entire school; I mean that's exactly what him and the other Slytherins did this morning so I'm not crazy for thinking that.

"May I have my wand now?" I ask while reaching out my hand. "Right of course, here."

I move past him and head towards the door, against every voice in my head telling me to keep walking, I don't. I stop and turn around and stare into his deep confusing eyes; the eyes that will always be comforting to me.

"Are you coming?"

"Yeah."

We walk side by side, shoulders touching, the silence eating away at me. I wonder what he's thinking, why offer to walk me back?

"Why'd you offer to walk me back?" I turn my head to look at him, but he stares straight ahead and his throat bobs.

"Erm, because it's past curfew and I am after all a pureblood gentlemen," I say with a smirk.

"Huh, hardly," I match my witty tone with a roll of my eyes. "Hey now, I am a perfect gentleman; you've wounded me Granger." He puts a hand over his heart in a sarcastic kind of way and I push him with my shoulder and let out a giggle. How does he have this hold over me, I lose all sense of.. anything really whenever he's around me.

"So first you hurt my ego then you physically assault me? I expect more from the Golden Girl truly." A sly smile graces my face, why am I acting like a love sick 12 year old, this is unbecoming.

"As if I could actually hurt the big bad Draco Malfoy, right."

Oh I bet you she could, she actually already has. "If I recall a time in third year when you absolutely smashed my nose in," I retort with a lift of my eyebrow. This is so different, so normal; I'm not accustomed to this banter between the two of us. It's harmful in the least, it's natural.

"Ohhh come off it Malfoy, you were being a total git and you know it," my cheeks hurt from smiling, this is weird.

"I know nothing of the sort Granger," we fall back into a comfortable silence but I can't help but glance down every once and a while to see that she still has a smile on her face. She has such a pretty seductive smile, oh merlin, I feel a twitch just between my legs. What has she done to me?

We round the corner to the fat lady portrait and she eye balls me in a sheepish look. As if it's any of her business as to who I let walk me back to my dorm. I walk a bit ahead of him, not knowing how to end this or what to say as I leave, but I feel a soft warm hand grab mine and spin me around.

I pull her close to my body, her hands lay flat on my chest and I lean in, slowly. Our lips meet again and I can't help the feeling stirring in my whole body, it feels right and natural and bloody fantastic. It's a slow kiss consisting of open mouth meetings and I let my tongue take charge and she succumbs to the feeling; moaning at my tongue swirling with hers. It lasts minutes and I'm surprised she hasn't pushed me off. We separate in agreement and I let her go, she steps back and presents a soft smile; I see the slight blush of her cheeks and her red swollen lips.

I mutter the password under my breath and I notice he isn't leaving until I'm fully inside. I step through the threshold and look over my shoulder.

"Goodnight, Draco."

~•~

I have no idea what came over me to kiss her so passionately just now. The magnetic field between us was so forceful I couldn't deny the pull. And then she went and called me 'Draco' again, it sounded perfect; sweet like honey and I just need to have another lick. My lips pull into a soft smirk; replaying tonight's events and I can't help the powerful yet calming storm settling in my bones.

I make my way back to the dungeons and I am welcomed with a familiar yet unsettling feeling; I snap back to reality.

The cabinet, my task.

I just want to escape it.

Theo is sitting on the black chaise near the fire when I enter the common room, he turns his head to me and gives a slight nod. Thank Merlin for Theo, even with this task I am glad to have someone to talk to about it; someone to help me through it. It's late so I refrain from going to the Room of Hidden Things tonight, tomorrow I shall do research so I can just fix it as soon as possible and get my mother to safety.

As I lay in bed all I can picture is the way Hermione's face contorted as she came; it was full of absolute bliss and pleasure. The way she felt around my cock and the way she sucked at my lips and held me close. I didn't even think that I was in need of someone to just hold me but when I wrapped my arms around her and clung to her small body it made me forget about everything.

And that isn't good. That cannot happen.

As much as a great shag she had been; and not to mention that weird feeling I felt in my stomach, it's most likely a bad idea to do it again. I can't be forgetting about my responsibilities, I can't forget that mother is counting on me, I will die before I let anything happen to her.

I roll over onto my stomach and hook my arm around my pillow; just because I can't physically hold Granger anymore doesn't mean I can't dream about it, right? I fall asleep to the thought of her.

~•~

I wake with a sense of serenity overflowing my mind space and anatomy. I have become the wind, breezing with calmness and in no hurry; taking flight and enjoying the ride. My sense of calm is anchored by my well-earned self confidence; remembering last nights endeavors. I put my hands over my face and can't help but let out a small giggle.

Today feels good, it feels like moving forward and making me forget to look back. I toss my duvet off and paddle to the bathroom I share with Ginny and Parvati. I turn the water on in the large standing shower and step in once the temperature is just right.

The warm water hugging me and making me burn with openness. The pitter patter of the water falling on my chest, floor, and walls overwhelms me. I get lost in the racket of drops and feel every sensation running through my body.

I allowed the hot water to soothe my aching muscles, the steam from the shower was thick and filled the air with a delicious fog and I run my hands over my reformed body.

Once I thoroughly wash my brown curls and lather with my vanilla-rose body wash I step out of and cast a quick drying spell; the steam slowly trickling out of the wash room. My curls fall into their normal position; coiled and wild. I run my hands through my locks trying my best to tame it and I'm honestly having a good hair day. My curls fall just below my shoulders and the wispy strands don't tangle. I dress in my normal school uniform and robes but I wait for the rest of the girls to leave the room to finish getting ready.

Anticipation and excitement settle in my stomach; I'm nervous to see him. Not that he would be waiting for me or anything, but I decide to apply some natural make up. My cheeks are extra rosy and my eye lashes extending longer, and the slightly faded brown wing on my lids making my eyes pop even more. I tie part of my hair back in a ribbon and chance one more look in the mirror. I know it's stupid but I just want to please him, to feel beautiful and noticed by him.

Honestly I don't even know what I'm thinking, I stare at myself too long and feel my confidence start slipping away. What if he hasn't even thought about me? Why am I trying so damn hard? And of all people, it's Draco Malfoy that I want to make happy.

I'm such a silly bint.

I look at the clock and realize breakfast has started so without giving my self another second to doubt I grab my bag and head out. Most of the Gryffindor's have all scattered out already; along with Harry and Ron, they probably didn't wait long before leaving; Ron and his bloody thing for food and all.

I make my way to the Great Hall and my nerves are screaming. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of my sudden change in.. look? I just need to act natural and nobody will even notice that anything is different. I enter and immediately regret my decision with trying so hard.

I cast my eyes downwards, only looking at the floor but I can feel eyes burning holes in my body. I sit across my Ron and next to Harry, "why is everyone bloody staring?" I ask; having an inkling of why they are.

"Morning 'Mione," Harry says with a smile on his face and it instantly warms me. I smile back and greet him a good morning as well; not noticing the way Ron is only staring; mouth gaping. Lavender prances over and I can't help but roll my eyes at her eagerness.

"Won won, I've missed you," she says while sliding in next to him and kissing his cheek. She turns to look at me and snicker graces her face.

"My goodness Hermione, what have you done to yourself," she says with a laugh, "did you forgot to check the mirror before you left?" she throughs her head back in laughter.

"I beg your pardon," I say with a disbelieving tone, I cannot even fathom why she would say such a thing. Doubt instantly washes over me and I feel my neck burning from embarrassment.

"Won won, why didn't you tell Hermione she looked like that before you left, it would have been the nice thing to do after all."

Ron looks between Harry, Lavender, and me before saying anything. He stares at me and coughs, "I couldn't help but notice the same thing 'Mione, what'd you put on your face, you hardly even look like yourself."

"And what would 'my normal self ' look like Ron? Hm?"

"It's, er, it's just that you look different that's all."

"And so what if I do? It's my body, my face, and I can do whatever the hell I want to do with it." I growl. "Oh please Hermione, the least you could have done was ask for assistance, I would have gladly helped fix... that." Lavender says with a hand waving over my face. I can't believe Ron right now. He's just sitting there not saying a damn thing, but he didn't even notice my interaction yesterday so I'm not too surprised sadly.

I look away before I say something I would regret and my eyes lock on a specific blonde across the way. My stomach drops and my chest hurts with a sharp pain, my ears are ringing and my blood is boiling.

I'm so pathetic, so stupid.

He hasn't noticed me yet but the sight before my eyes tells me that he won't.

Right next to him is one Daphne Greengrass latched onto his arm that's around her shoulders and he's staring deeply into her eyes as they lean into one another locking lips.

Not wanting to see anymore than I have to; I stare down at my plate still full of food. Why did I even try? Why try when there's a beautiful blonde holding his attention. I'd be lucky to be second best compared to her, so I don't know what I was expecting. Obviously, this is what Malfoy does, he's used to sleeping with witches then moving onto the next; I underestimated by ability to not get attached. But how could I not, I was so open and vulnerable, I practically handed him my virginity; I so trusting.. too trusting.

Without saying a word I push out of the seat while grabbing my bags and stalk out of the Hall; a tear escaping my eye as soon as I make the exit.

I was so caught up in the feeling just introduced to me last night. I was hopeful and excited; ready to try new things. I'm so ignorant for giving myself to him, being too willing and desperate.

~•~

The way her lips move against mine, her small hands grabbing hold of my neck and not letting up, her tiny moans and squeaks, her tan creamy skin under my hands, her tight cunt wrapping around my shaft, her golden-chocolate eyes gleaming.

I wake up to the light shining through the windows, displaying across my face. A sudden twitch between my legs and I realize that my morning wood is slightly more excited today.

I groan at the realization that I was dreaming of Granger. It was one hell of a dream I'll tell you that much. Usually after having sex with a witch I feel nothing, no attachment; sometimes not even a second thought, we do the deed and that's it. But waking this morning with reoccurring flashbacks of mine and Grangers time together has my mind completely in shambles.

I hop out of bed and hit the showers before anyone else comes in to disturb my morning toss. Letting the steam surround me and soothe my aching length; I stand under the spraying water with my left forearm resting on the cool tile wall; I take a glance at the burning brand carved into my skin. My right hand ventures toward the thickness humming between my legs and I slowly start pumping.

My breath picks up as my thoughts betray me; honey eyes flashing in my mind. Thick curls tangled between my fingers and soft girlish moans filling my ears. I can't help the images intruding my senses and thoughts. Her legs wrapping around my waist; pulling me in deeper, so fucking deep. I imagine her wet folds and the walls of her cunt gripping my cock so hard that I shoot come down the shower wall in front of me; releasing with a low grunt.

I'll allow myself to fantasize about her but nothing more shall happen; even if I did allow it, Granger is most likely disgusted by me taking her virtue. I turn the faucet off once I've showered off then grab a plush towel to dry. By the time I exit the bathroom fully dressed and ready to leave Theo is sitting on his trunk with his hands on his knees; giving me a devilish look.

"Some shower you had there eh?" a grin plastered on his face.

"Sod off Nott," I throw my towel in his direction and pick my school bag up. He throughs the towel to the floor and pats me on the back. "Next time, try putting a silencing charm up yeah?"

"Oh come on grumpy boy, I'm absolutely famished; and you should probably eat too, given the load you just let off," he throws his head back in laughter.

"Ha ha, you're very amusing Theo, points for cleverness,"

"Ha I try, now let's go; I want to get there before Blaise eats all the bacon."

~•~

The walk to the Great Hall was nothing more than Theo being a total git; truly ruining my mood. "Oh come off it Draco, I'm only teasing; lighten up a bit."

"I'll lighten up as soon as your voice stops ringing in my ears,"

I take a sit whilst shoving Theo. He sits to my left and Blaise is across from me. Pansy strides in with Daphne Greengrass at her side; why can't I catch a break this morning. First a swotty little know-it-all intrudes my thoughts, then Theo won't leave me alone about being 'too loud' in the shower, and now Daphne is grabbing my arm and putting it around her shoulders while taking a seat to my right.

Daphne is an exceptional witch; blonde pureblood royalty. She's the exact witch my parents will likely have me marry. There's nothing I can physically point out on her that isn't beautiful but she isn't the witch for me. The thought of being betrothed rubs me the wrong way, I want to be the one to choose my wife; especially if I have to spend the rest of my life with them and carry on the Malfoy bloodline.

I stare down at her, "what're doing Greengrass?"

"Don't be so coy Draco, I'm simply sitting here, enjoying a fine breakfast, with a fine blonde man next to me," her white teeth showing through her smile.

"Careful Daphne, Draco isn't one for public displays of affection," Theo chimes in. "Well I guess we'll have to work on that now won't we," she huffs with a devious smirk.

"How about a kiss hm?" she stares up at me while grabbing my arm that's still around her shoulders. "And why would I kiss you Greengrass?"

"Maybe because I'm absolutely gorgeous and willing," she scoots closer to me.

"Pass." I say with a bored tone. "Draco, how is it that you can deny a kiss from a stunning witch?" Pansy fucking Parkinson can never just stay out of things. "Are you involved with someone else?" Daphne asks. I look around the table and a sudden flush of heat washes over me. Images of last night once again intruding.

"Er, of course not, don't be ridiculous," I laugh hoping it was convincing. "Then a little kiss wouldn't hurt right?"

"Yeah come one Draco, don't be such a girl, it's just a kiss," Blaise says with a hint of annoyance; what's his problem anyways?

"Fucking fine." I stare into her deep blue eyes and they don't feel or look like anything compared to honey brown. A smile is protruding on her face while I lean in and we lock lips. It's nice, cold, but nice.

There's no fire or desire; no flame or spark... no electricity. It's just a normal kiss. Two lips touching and nothing more. As I pull away from her I see a bushy haired golden girl storming the Hall. And I can't help my feet from tingling; wanting to follow her, wanting to press my lips to her instead.

But I can't.

~ •~

Once breakfast is over I head to potions with Blaise, Theo, Pansy, and Daphne at my tail. We take our normal seats in the back of Slughorns classroom. My eyes immediately find brown bushy locks sitting at the front of the classroom. I don't even notice Professor Slughorn introducing the lesson this morning; my vision and thoughts too occupied at the moment.

Suddenly everyone is standing and gathering around Professors cauldron in the front of the room. I look up and Theo gives me a nudge to my arm and I stand; making my way closer and closer to Granger. She stands directly in front of the table and I stand in the corner with Theo and Blaise.

"Now class, would anyone like to explain what Amortentia is?"

Her hand instantly shoots in the air and I can't help it when my eyes roll and a sneer plastering on my face; I huff in annoyance, of course she always has to show everyone that she fucking knows everything. It's infuriating. And I'm obviously not the only one who agrees.

"That fifthly mudblood is annoying, Merlin, she tries so hard to be a witch but she'll never truly be one. She's so pathetic." Pansy scoffs.

"Ah Miss Granger, please share with the class,"

"Well Professor, Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. It is distinctive for it's mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what attracts them," Granger speaks in a low voice holding her book to her chest while taking a step towards the cauldron.

"For example," she says in a hesitant voice, "I smell spearmint, parchment and black tea and -" she looks around the room and whispers, "-and anemone flowers,"

A blush creeps up her neck and my cheeks are burning, she was barely audible; did she say-, did she say 'anemone flowers'?

My heart starts beating in my chest, it has to be a coincidence; suddenly Slughorn interrupts my thoughts and confusion.

"Well done Miss Granger," he applauds her but she isn't showing her excitement this time; she walks back into the crowd of students, trying to hide herself.

"Now Amortentia doesn't produce actual love; that would be impossible, however, it does cause powerful infatuation or obsession," he says as most of the girls try getting closer to the potion brewing. "And for that reason it is probably the most dangerous potion in this room," he puts a lid on the cauldron causing the girls to back away sadly.

"For the sake of the lesson, we will be brewing a type of Amortentia; one that will mimic the affects of Amortentia without actually brewing the real thing; we will carefully study it's components then set to work,"

"Once you have carefully analyzed the ingredients I will come by to check you off and you are free to start brewing."

I'm not surprised when Granger calls over Slughorn after only fifteen minutes since we started working. I check over my list and data then after he checks me off I start the brew.

I gather the ingredients and set them down near my cauldron; usually Amortentia takes up to nine days to brew but since we are mimicking the potion it should only take about half and hour.

Over a very low flame I set a gold cauldron on the burner and pour in Standard Potioning Water. Once I bruise the Peppermint Flower heads with a mortar and pestle I sprinkle it into the lukewarm water. I constantly stir the the potion with a wooden spatula as I take the whole Peppermint Leaves and drop it into the water.

I get a quick whiff of vanilla; it was gone in an instant but just as intoxicating. I continue the brew and add Powdered Moonstone one tablespoon at a time; I start to stir counter-clockwise three times between each spoonful. My nose is suddenly filled with old book smell; the glue, the ink, the paper starting to break down, the lignin granting me the scent of vanilla once again. It's actually really pleasant; too pleasurable. My eyes flutter close as I take in as much of the smell as I can.

As the potion is still moving and starting to boil I sprinkle in Rose Thornes and let it rest for five minutes. I take this time to really examine Granger, her table is directly across from me and I have a perfect view of her working. Her nose crinkles and her eyes go wide, she takes in a deep breath through her nose and her eyes shut. She is absolutely exquisite.

A Goddess.

I let the potion sit at a low flame and I see the spiraling steam and mother-of-pearl sheen glowing. I take the clear cover off and let all the scents hit me at once. They hit me like a brick wall and I can't focus on anything other then the relaxing smell of roses; it's restorative and encourages me to breath in deeply and slowly, allowing the oxygen in the air to fill my lungs. The next smell is just as strong, if not more; sultry as a summer evening, the intoxicating scent of gardenias. It settles like a memory into my soul; it's enticing, the smell of the velvet soft petals; wrapping me in warmth and humidity.

I can't get enough of the smell. The familiar scent of vanilla and old books hits me as well. And then a new smell clogs my brain.

A sweet aroma; unique floral sweetness. Like a warm sunny day I smell the fruit of a peach.

It's acidic with a hint of tartness mellowing it out. I envision the juicy fruit with an edible peel and hard pit in the middle. I'm lost in all the scents taking over my body and thoughts; and suddenly, the smells disappear. A shiver runs up my spine, my fingertips flurry with magic and I feel wholly powerful.

I refocus my vision and see Theo covering my cauldron, I miss the smells already.

It was addictive.

"Merlin Malfoy, I thought I lost you for a second there, everything alright? What'd you smell?" he asks curiously.

"Er-," I have no words, "-um nothing, it was nothing," I state in a disbelieving tone.

"Right, okay, well class is over so we should get going yeah?" he starts walking out of the classroom.

"Yeah okay let's go,"

As I'm gathering my things I notice that it's only me and Granger left in the classroom. I take this time to look over her face; I see her rosy cheeks and swollen eyelids, a blush creeping up her neck, and her puffy red nose.

Has she been crying? I can't help but feel a slight twinge in my chest.

~•~

Potions class definitely took a turn. I knew how powerful Amortentia was but to actually be that close to the potion was intense to say the least. All the different scents overwhelming my body was compelling.

After I left the Great Hall I ran straight for the bathroom. Washing my face of all the mistakes I chose to do this morning.

And to see Malfoy kiss Daphne hurt; it made me feel small and used. I never want to feel that again.

As I'm packing my things and cleaning my cauldron I notice that I'm left in the classroom with only Malfoy. Why can't I just catch a break? I let out a deep sigh; I turn so my back is facing him and I avoid looking anywhere near him. Then, suddenly, I hear the sound of footfalls getting closer and closer to me. I hold my breath and continue the task of cleaning my area. I think about just leaving the mess and striding out of the room; but it's too late.

His chest is against my back and my breath hitches. His hand runs up my arm and I close my eyes; trying everything I can to not fall into his touch. But he's just so stimulating. The drug I will never be able to detox from.

Abruptly he grabs hold of my arm and spins around to face him. My eyes don'ts meet his; instead, I stare straight into his chest.

"Granger," his voice is low and enticing. "Granger, look at me."

On command her eyes finally meet mine. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't have walked over here; but I just had to know why she was crying.

I see her flush face more clearly, her furrowed brows, and her lips parted; her pink tongue barely visible. I would do anything for just one more taste. But I need to stay in control so I take a deep breath and meet her eyes again.

"What?" she asks quietly. "What happened to you?" I don't hold back. Her features tense and I can see the wheels in her brain turning.

He wants to know what happened to me. Huh. Why can't he just leave me alone already?

"Oh nothing really, it's just that I'm a stupid ignorant witch, who is too trusting and open. Ohhh there's also this thing that happened this morning and I was ashamed and humiliated by my own friend and his girlfriend. Ha." I say with a laugh.

How do I even respond to that. "You really shouldn't care what Weasel and Brown have to say or think; if they even have brains big enough to think. That red head you call a friend is a total git anyhow."

"Yeah and you're any better, right," she rolls her eyes and laughs sarcastically.

I furrow my brows in confusion.

"Granger-"

"Forget it, okay, I need to go," she walks around me to grab her things. What is happening right now?

"Granger listen real quick," I can't let her go just yet. She doesn't deserve to be constantly put down, no matter her blood status or how swotty she is. I walk closer to her and put my hands on her shoulders. A shiver runs up my spine at the contact again. I look at my feet and inhale slowly. My eyes meet hers and her walls drop so I take the opening.

"There's a saying my mother used to tell me, 'face aux ennius, nous persévérons', it means; 'while facing trouble, we persevere'." My hands travel down her arms and I grab her hands; bringing her right hand up to my lips I press a gentle kiss to her knuckles.

I give her hands a reassuring squeeze and stare into her eyes. I leave the room before I let my self do anything more.

Merlin, what has that witch done to me.

Her pull on me is too powerful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! 
> 
> Chapter 4 will be out very soon. Please leave me any comments and feedback, let me know what you think of the story so far or anything I can work on, it would really help me make this story better!
> 
> See you guys during the next update!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demons. Drowning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is now up! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

_They say don't let them in_

_Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again_

_But when I'm all alone_

_They show up on their own  
_

_• Inner Demons •  
_

~•~

A couple of days have passed since my talk with Granger after potions class. I've been occupied with endless nights in the Room of Hidden Things trying absolutely everything to fix that damned cabinet. And nothing is working. 

During the late hours of the night; the opportunity for my happiness, comfort, or safety fly out the window with every attempt and expected failure. I was condemned to this future from the moment I took my first breath on this earth. Born into an endless life of sad and dark days that are more like the night. 

~•~

_\- December 22, 1991 -_

Mother is waiting at the platform when I arrive back for the holidays. I grab my trunk and look around waiting to see father but my eyes never find him. Disappointment washing over my face as I walk over to mother; clearly she sees the change in my features and gives me a comforting smile.

My mothers smile is like a ray of sunshine on a dry-cold winter day, she never fails to give me hope as a beacon of darkness shadows me. Wrapping me in warmth and pure love. I will never deny nor tire of her smile. 

"Draco, my dragon," she embraces me in a tight hug and I can't help but fall into it. "How was the ride, comfortable I hope?"

"Yes, mother, it was quite alright; and where is father?" I ask with hope dripping off my tongue. She looks at me with her pearl eyes, "My dear, your father had some business to attend to. I hope my company will suffice." 

"Of course, mum, always." 

_\- Later -_

When we arrived at the manor I couldn't help but feel dread and anxiousness. Father will likely be home already waiting for my return. I get settled in my room and unpack while I wait for dinner. I jump when I hear a pop. 

"Master Draco, Topsy is to let you know supper is ready sir," the house elf twirls her over-sized ear with her hand. "Topsy will also finish your unpacking Master Draco."

"Is father here Topsy?"

"Yes, Master Malfoy just arrived."

I close my eyes and prepare for my first encounter with father since September. As I make my way down the grand stairs I picture flowers in the soil beds of our gardens; with precision I close each petal, closing off each pistil and clearing my thoughts until there's nothing.

In the dining room father is seated at the head of the table with mother to his right, I enter and take a seat across from mum; not making way to look at him yet. 

"Draco, so nice of you to join us," he says with a snarl. 

"I take it there was no trouble getting home without me?"

"Of course there wasn't father. Mother isn't daft. " I retort. "Watch your tone boy."

"Yes father."

Mum looks at me with soft eyes; encouraging me to stay strong. "Do tell me Draco, are you at the top of your class?" I blink trying to clear my thoughts; taking my time with each anemone petal. 

"No father, I am second. " He scoffs. "Second to whom?"

"Hermione Granger father," my delicate fingers taking each petal and pinching it closed with another petal until the pistil is no longer visible. My fingers start to tremble.

"Granger hmm, is she related to Dagworth- Granger; the potioneer?" mother asks. "Er- no mother, I believe her parents are muggles."

"A _mudblood_ -" father spits out and I flinch at his harsh tone, "-how on earth are you and everybody in your class below that dirty blooded witch?" 

"Lucius." Mother is quick to jump in.

He doesn't listen to mothers demanding tone, "Listen here child, you will not let that filthy mudblood come above you in marks any longer," he says matter of factly and with a point of his finger, he slams his hand down on the table; nearly spilling our tomato soup. 

"Do you hear me?" he scolds, "Yes of course father."

"Obviously not since you let it happen this long, your grandfather would be rolling in his grave if he heard of this nonsense."

"That's quite enough Lucius," this time mother scolds. Anxiety coursing through me, my hands clenched into fists under the table. "You will not take our family name through the mud by coming second to a girl who isn't even a witch, you're _pathetic_ ," with one final growl he throws his napkin on the table and stalks out of the room.

My skin is burning. Eyes stinging. Palms bleeding from my nails. I don't dare look up from my soup. I hear mothers chair scratch against the wood floor and her dragon hide boots clicking.

Her hand rests on my shoulder and I shut my eyes, release my clenched fists, and relax my muscles. 

"Dragon," she says sweetly. "My dear boy, please look at me," I let myself go to her calming tone and stare into her deep loving eyes. 

"He expects so much of me mother, I'm only eleven," I try pleading with her. 

She takes in a deep breath in and out; as the air leaving her lungs washes over me the flowers in my head snap open; causing each pistil to be completely visible, causing me to be bare and vulnerable. 

"My son, your father just wants what's best for you, he wants you to succeed and be the best you can be," she kneels at my chair making our eyes leveled. "I know and I really am trying not to disappoint him." I really don't want to disappoint him. Especially mother.

"Face aux ennius, nous persévérons," she says smoothly, "You are a Malfoy my dragon, 'While facing trouble, we persevere'."

"You are strong, intelligent, and the best thing that could have ever happened to me, so please never give up." She kisses my head and takes her leave.

~•~

Theo and I made a visit to Dean for some extra... help. They both did a little too much explaining of each drug and it was honestly the longest hour of my life.

About a week after our 'meeting' with Thomas I finally reached my breaking point and gave into the devices of the drugs. I occupied weed and cocaine; quite frankly, cocaine is not for me. The high wasn't worth the torturous come down the next day. Even though exhaustion took over, my thinking slowed down, and each restlessness night got worse, my craving for the drug only grew. 

My night tremors and inner demons fighting to take over my mind and body, my muscles burning and aching, and the very unpleasant dreams becoming more and more vivid. The rebound effect of the drug definitely took my body and ripped it to shreds. My insides convulsing and my joints shaking. 

Theo helped me through it and gloated a bit too much, "I told you mate, this is a hardcore drug; that shouldn't be taken lightly," he says kneeling next to me on the bathroom floor; the cold sweats taking over and the numbing tiles of the floor aren't helping. "Yeah yeah, I got that much Theo, now let me just take some more so the pain will stop."

"No can do Drake, you can't take it anymore," 

"Like hell I can, you're not my mummy Nott, so just be a good boy and fetch the bag,"

"Look Draco, this come down is only get worse from now on, this is exactly the distraction that you don't need. Think about your tasks, think about your mum, this will get bad if you keep it up. I'm sorry for even offering it but you cannot take it any longer."

"Okay, fine, just- can, can you get me some dreamless sleep potion so I can sleep through the rest of this," I make my way to stand and strip down to my underpants. "Yeah, here."

I grab the vile from Theo's shaky fingers and unstopper the the glass bottle. Bottoms up.

I fall asleep almost instantly; my mind too numb to even try and fight off the demons. 

~•~

I wake early the next morning with my head pounding and my muscles sore. I attempt to crawl out of bed but only end up falling to the floor. "Fuck," I growl while grabbing my head. "Draco? Is that you mate?" Theo's morning voice surprisingly soothing the ringing in my ears. "Yeah, my head is in excruciating fucking pain,"

"Have you tried the weed yet? It's more mellow than the other drugs, it'll calm you down enough for your body to fully recover from the cocaine, you know; relax your muscles and such."

"Okay I'll give it a try, can you pass it to me?" I refrain from standing from the floor, instead I lean my back against my bed, lifitng my knee to my chest and resting my arms on them. Theo makes his way to me and sits to my right. He gives me the run down on the drug and a brief lesson on how to do it. 

"It's easy really, just follow my lead." He takes the rolled up cannabis inside a thin rolling paper and licks the top edge and seals it with a final roll; leaving empty space at the tip. He grabs his wand and whispers a spell I couldn't quite hear through the ringing in my ears and the tip of his wand generates a low flame. With the joint now between his lips, he brings his wand to the end of the roll; his eyes close and he takes a deep inhale in and holds it until he can't anymore. With the release of his breath I get a big whiff of the smell streaming through the room. His head turns to me and passes the joint.

"Don't think about it too much, make sure to not take such a big-" I don't wait to hear what he has to say; instead, I put the roll between my chapped lips and take the biggest inhale I can, "-hit on your first one."

He laughs at my eagerness. The smoke filling my lungs start to burn so I let out a big puff; succumbing to the blazing tingle in my throat and I exhale with a cough. Theo grabs me some water and I let it sit in my mouth and throat to soothe the sensation.

"How do you feel?" he asks.

I take a moment to let everything sink in; I feel my muscles retract and relax, my once pounding head becomes warm, and my thoughts are at bay. "I feel, good," relief washing over my features.

"Yeah me too, let's go eat yeah? I'm starved for some pancakes." My eyes go wide and my stomach gives off a big growl, we both laugh likes it's the funniest thing to ever happen. "Yeah I could go for some food."

"Clearly."

~•~

It's been close to two weeks since I last spoke or even ran into Malfoy. It's most likely for the best but I can't help but miss his touch. It's also been about the same amount of time since I've actually interacted with Ron. That feeling of not being good enough is so strong and I can't put myself through that again.

At breakfast I sit next to Ginny, Neville, and Harry. Ginny and Harry of course in a deep talk about the upcoming quidditch match and Neville explaining to me what his next Herbology exam is on. I haven't actually been listening if I'm being honest but I make a noise in agreement every once and a while.

For quite some time now I haven't been the same, not listening during lectures and barely scribbling down notes in class. My brain feels fuzzy and I can't seem to forget about my last interaction with Draco. It was unlike anything that has ever happened to me before. His words were gentle and soothing, his hands holding mine reassuringly, and his grey eyes comforting. It was different. And I want another moment like that. 

I need it.

I can't focus without it.

Every voice in the Great Hall slowly fade into the background when he walks in. His hands in his pockets and his features completely relaxed. There's no roughness to his cheeks, his jaw is slack, and his eyes at ease. 

He's absolutely angelic with his pure blonde hair, creamy pale skin, and his heavenly deep; intoxicating blue eyes. I've never seen a more beautiful person in my life. And I feel completely and utterly insane for even thinking that. My beauty doesn't compare to every other girl lusting over him and all I want is to be noticed by him. I realize I've been staring for too long when I feel his cool grey eyes piercing and staring deep into mine. I stop breathing when a smirk pulls at his lips and I can feel the blush creeping up my neck and growing across my cheeks. 

Daphne pulls his attention away from me and a feeling of disappointment takes over, I stare down at my empty plate and try to forget about this numb empty feeling. 

The noise comes back.

"Hermione, 'Mione, are you listening?" Neville asks curiously, "Sorry yes, just forgot about this Ancient Runes essay I haven't finished yet." I reply.

Harry is pulled out of his conversation amused with the fact I haven't finished the essay weeks ago. He would go absolutely bonkers if he discovered the true reasioning behind my lack of paying attention, he would think I was mad and immediately admit me to St. Mungo's. Paying no mind to their conversation any longer; I grab a piece of toast and lather it with my favorite marmalade; peach. 

While sweetened up considerably, it retains the sour and bitter notes of oranges, which in hand gives off a very sophisticated flavor. Sweet and delicious. 

~•~

I wonder how long the affects of the drug are supposed to last; not that I'm complaining. If anything I feel the calmest I've ever been, it's relaxing and I can just indulge in the sensations coursing through me. 

When I entered the Great Hall for breakfast I felt warm eyes on me; looking up from my plate I catch the eyes that are burned into my memory, a smirk tugging at my lips and I notice the blush of embarrassment creeping up her - delectable - neck. I imagine my lips on that neck and hers on mine, I picture her soft hands touching me everywhere and I can't help that my cock grows hard in my trousers; fuck. I might have to deal with that and _her_ a little later, perhaps in the restricted section on the library. 

A squeaking voice pulls me out of a fantasy and anger burns in my core. I turn to face the culprit.

"What could you possibly want now Daphne?" I say in a surprisingly soft tone. "I was just saying how I miss _your_ lips on mine," she says quietly so I only hear. "Well Daphne, get used to that feeling because it's never happening again."

"Yeah yeah okay, we'll see about that," she sniffs the air between us, "Are you high Malfoy," she talks loudly. 

Theo bursts out in laughter and Blaise quirks a half smile, "Why yes I am Greengrass, now if you'll excuse me," I stand from the table, "I have some other matters to attend to," I tip my nonexistent hat toward Theo and I'm off to the library; ready to start trouble. 

~•~

As soon as I enter the library I can already smell her sweet scent; the high only heightening my senses. I see her bum sway from side to side as she enters the far back of the library; the abandoned part of the book room. I take the opening and walk quietly over to her; not wanting to give my intentions away immediately. 

I proceed down the aisle and find her staring up at a bookshelf, seemingly too high for her to reach; she stands on the tips of her toes and reaches as far as she can, all the while her school shirt tugs out of her skirt and exposes her creamy tan skin; I lick my lips in starvation.

I can smell him; spearmint streaming up my nose, all the way into my brain. I try and ignore the arousal growing between my legs and make my way to the abandoned section of the library. I head to the hidden Ancient Runes novels no one seems to know exists; I wasn't lying when I told Neville I haven't finished yet. The exact reason why I need to start focusing on school and stray away from certain, distractions. 

Bollocks. This part of the library isn't up to date with the modern book finding charm like the rest of the room, I stand on my toes to gain some ground but it doesn't seem to work; I feel a cold breeze hit my abdomen and get a good whiff of spearmint again; it's inebriating. Great. 

I walk towards her ever so quietly and stand directly behind her; the position very similar to our last interaction in the potions lab. My eyes close at the proximity of our beings and heat flushes through me. Excitement and anticipation growing at what's - hopefully - about to happen. I grab her shoulder with my left hand and let my right take it's path toward her soft curly hair. I move her hair off her neck and she inhales slowly; by exposing the soft skin on her neck I get a glimpse of her pulse point and I immediately attack it with my mouth, tongue, and teeth.

His pleasurable mouth is attached to my neck and I move my head to the side slightly to give him more room. I can't help but submit to it, to him; it's like I can finally breath, like I finally have enough oxygen to live, it's intoxicating and I need it to survive, the missing piece I've been looking for is finally in place once again. 

"Mmmmm," I hum because she tastes flawlessly sweet and she's leaning into my touch, my front colliding with her back; my hands taking course once more landing on her curvy hips, my fingers massaging patterns into her rich tanned silky skin. 

I don't know what's happening; one day he's all over me, the next he's kissing someone else, another day he's checking up on me to see if I'm okay, and like a drought he doesn't show me any mind for weeks. I'm confused and can't seem to think about anything else besides his mouth and hands; unable to form the words that are spiraling in my thoughts. I turn around abruptly and latch onto his mouth with my own; catching him off guard. I'm desperate to taste him, to have him scratch the itch I and no one else can reach. My hands attack his hair and I take control by pushing him back to hit the shelves. 

"Feisty one aren't you Granger," I say while she moves to suck on my neck. She's rubbing against my front, very close to my hard-on and it feels amazing. My hands linger running up and down on her thighs and I can feel her heat radiating; attaching to me. I can feel her need and desire; all I want is to be inside her again, I can't believe it's been over two weeks since the last time.

I can't take it any longer so I pick her up and walk towards the shelves opposite of me. One of my hands sneaks under skirt and I can already feel how wet and moist she is for me. It's the hottest thing I've ever felt. Her head falls back as I make my path to her sweet spot and she sucks in a breath. 

"Draco," she breaths in a sigh, "Tell me what you want Granger," my thumb meets her throbbing clit and I brush against it then pull back; waiting for her answer. 

I'm dripping with need and want, literally. I need him. I want him. 

"Please," I can't form any other word let alone a sentence, my mind is complete mush whenever he's around; especially when he's touching me, there. "Please what Granger?" I might explode with demand, her face and body contours are so seductive, her beauty and quiet moans is everything I'll ever need. 

Do I give in? Do I let him win? What am I even thinking right now?

Of course I let him win; the way he's touching me, giving me the attention I need, no one has ever touched me the way he does, the only thing I need in this moment is him. "Please, please touch me," she cries. 

"Your wish is my command love," as my thumbs hits her sweet spot again, my finger enters her clenching hot cunt. "You're so wet Granger, is that for me?" 

His finger is moving at a slow pace inside me and I need more than his fingers, I want _him_ to be inside me; to feel his hard prick slide in and out of my slick walls, I moan at the thought. "Y-yes fuck, it's for you, all for y-you," I can tell she's close by the way her face contorts but I need to be in her; to feel her while she blows up with passion.

"More," she says like she's reading my mind. Her hands snake between us and she undoes my buckle, my heart beat is skyrocketing and my hard member now pulsing and jumping for her. Her tiny hand reaches into my trousers and grips me with her delicate fingers, I sense her hesitation and I know she's never done that to anyone; her lack of experience only turns me on more, her eagerness to please me almost sends me over. The way she pumps me with her velvet hand makes me forget about everything; my thumb and finger making a complete stop and she moans at the loss.

"More Draco, please, I need you," without any hesitation I push into her and we both moan in pleasure. "Shit," how can it possibly get better than this? She's bloody astonishing. 

"Fuck, I can feel you throbbing," I say as he stills inside me. Needing more friction, needing him to fill me up all the way, "Please move."

The pace I set is slow but after a minute of her heavy breathing I go faster. I kiss her hard, letting my tongue tangle in hers as I continue to pump in and out of her tight cunt. Our bodies moving together so frantically like we will never have enough of each other, I pound into her so hard I'm at the hilt and it's the sexiest thing I've ever seen as her mouth opens in a silent 'o'. 

"You're so tight Granger, it's perfect,"

"P-please don't stop, I'm so c-closee." The shelves holding her up are now squeaking and wobbling from our movements. 

"Yes yes yes, oh my god, Malfoy p-please touch mee," I do as she says and start rubbing her swollen clit with my thumb, I feel her walls start to contract heavenly wrapped around my cock. I need her to cum. To feel her flutter and pulse, to coat my cock with her sweet juices.

I'm moaning so loudly that I'm curious to know if anyone can hear us, but at this point I don't care if someone even sees him fucking me against the shelves; deep down I've always had a secret fantasy of this happening. I latch onto his mouth and swallow each of his grunts of pleasure; chasing release, chasing him. Together we dance.

"Come for me Granger, I want to feel your walls clamp down on my dick, I want to spill my seed in you so fucking deep,"

His pace quickens, are bodies close together, his pubic bone hitting mine, his thumb circling my clit, our breaths mingling, his skin on mine; I'm lost to everything single feeling and sensation he is producing for me. 

"Fuckkk, Malfoy, I'm c-c-coming," I let go of everything, I feel my juices leaking from me, dripping; filled with desire. My hunger and thirst satiated; the breath of the dragon chasing the demons away. He's eyes are tightly shut from pleasure and his prick throbbing even more. "Granger you're going to make me come,"

"Come for me Draco," there it is again, my name on her lips; exactly where it's supposed to be. "Merlin, fuck fuck,"

"Hermione s-shit!" I explode so deep in her she is most likely going to have to cast a three charms, the thought of my cum that far inside her makes me come undone again; another spurt of me coming out, by this time I'm practically dripping from her; out fluids mixing. So lost in my release I don't even notice her stop breathing, she's staring at me like I'm the moon and stars; like I'm the only glass of water in the desert and I realize it's because I said her name. 

Shit.

~•~ 

Trying to hide my vulnerability I do the only thing I actually know how to do; I run and hide, closing the flowers tightly. I set her down and frantically start zipping up my trousers and casting a scourgify spell. Her eyes are on me, burning my soul and asking me to come back; to look at her. When I finally do I automatically regret it; her doe eyes confused and in thought; this isn't how we ended last time. No, last time we shared kisses and stolen touches; I held her body close to mine and walked her back. This time, that cannot happen; I can't get to close because I'm scared she might set me on fire.

"You're an outstanding fuck Granger," she looks hurt; her outfit all bundled up and out of place, she covers herself with her arms trying to protect herself from my words. But I had to say it, I can't let this go on any longer, I can't drag her down with me. 

Now I'm really confused; I'm shocked, not even at his words but the cruelness behind them; spit out at me like I was convenient and he couldn't wait to get to Daphne to be satisfied. Does he not feel it too? The sparks setting off his nerves? Am I just desperate and too attached to realize that I'm not what he wants?

Something is off about him; he's calm and almost drowsy, his eyelids are lower than usual and his muscles seem to be more relaxed than I've ever seen them to be.

My arms are tightly wrapped around my body, looking for safety from exposure; a blanket to hide under. The thought of him going back to Daphne after this causes bile to rise in my throat and a storm of emotions gripping my organs; so compressed at the pressuring ache. I quickly gather my things before he can say anything else that might cut me and turn to leave the library, not looking back; pangs of salty water probing to leave my eyes, but I don't let them fall this time; not giving into a single drop of disappointment. I've had enough of the bleeding salt of my soul, enough of the tendrils wounding me; so I stop it, not surrendering to the feelings.

 _This.._ is the beginning of the draught. 

~•~

Just like her, the high is gone; fallen. The pain, the burn, it's so much worse now as I stare at the vacant space she just occupied; the air thinning without her presence, harder to grip the oxygen with my lungs. 

The walk back to the dungeons was filled with confusing penetration deep in my mind and chest. This wasn't supposed to happen; what happened to just fucking, why is it different now? Why with her? Why now? My thoughts are racing with questions I don't have answers to. What is it that pulls me to her? Her eyes, her touch, her breath, her gentleness. It's all too consuming.

Like the ocean tides crashing on the shore, waiting you for take a dip; then it's pulling you in deeper and you don't stand a chance against the tug it has on your body. The gravitational pull of the sun and moon, the rotation of the earth, the sea level rising and falling constantly throughout the day. The tidal force is indestructible; and I'm growing weaker and weaker by the second.

My blood now boiling and overflowing; as I enter the common room I head straight for the liquor cabinet and poor a hefty bit in the tumblr. I need to get back to work but it's about time I call in reinforcements. "Nott--" I stare a heavy glare at him, trying to portray my desperation, "let's go mate," I head back through the steel door hoping he'll follow. After a few paces I hear shuffling on the floor, I turn back around to see Theo making his way to me. Thank Merlin.

"What's on the agenda today?"

"The bloody cabinet as usual," he nods and puts his hands in his pockets. "So who's the lucky witch?"

"I beg your pardon?" he's too close for comfort.

"You know, the witch, the one who has been making you all angsty and what not, the one who just made you drink half the bottle of Firewhisky," 

"None of your bloody business Theo," I say with a snarl, wishing he would just drop it; seeing that I have no idea what's even happening. "Ah so you aren't denying it!"

"Nott," my tone now serious, "leave it." My strides becoming longer and quicker. We reach the the familiar wall and the doors appear almost immediately; I take him to the cursed cabinet and we set to work. 

~•~

As I return to the Gryffindor common room three pairs of eyes land on me. For a second I wonder if they can tell that I've been thoroughly fucked, that would not be good. Suddenly Harry stands and strides towards me; gripping my arms roughly with curious eyes. Oh fuck, does he know? I look past his shoulder and see that Ron's hands are clenched into fists; my anxiety now plummeting. 

"Hermione--"

I cut him off, "Look Harry I don't know what you're thinking but I promise it's not--" he cuts me off, "Are you okay," he asks in a rushed tone, "I would have come sooner but I saw that you already left." He saw? 

"Harry, what are you talking about?" he pulls me to the chaise by the fire, we sit next to Ginny and Ron. "What did Malfoy do? Did he hurt you? Touch you?" Harry starts rambling and muttering; his words jumbling together. 

"I just knew he was up to something, we need to do something about it, are you okay? Hermione?" 

"Harry Harry, slow down, you're talking a mile a minute, take a breather for Godric's sake," I turn my head, "Ron, would you please explain to me why Harry is freaking out and having an aneurysm," he grunts in response, well that was helpful; I mean for crying out loud. "Somebody please tell me what's going on! This instant." I've had enough of this bloody bullshit. "Okay okay Hermione--" Harry clears his throat and faces me, "I saw you on the map, with Malfoy, in the library; you guys were there for a long while and I was worried something might have happened." Ohhh, that's what he meant by 'saw me', well I don't know how to get out of this one. Bollocks.

"Bloody hell Harry, I thought it was something serious, you were starting to freak me out," I do my best to stay calm and stall long enough to come up with an excuse. I mean I can't just bloody come clean about my secret 'affair' with Draco Malfoy; and I sure as hell can't tell them that it's only one sided, on my part. "Well what fucking happened 'Mione?" Ron is staring daggers; he looks like he's about to murder someone.. boys, I roll my eyes. 

"Nothing happened Ronald--" he flinches and his eyes soften at the use of his full name, "Dra-Malfoy, was just meeting me to discuss an Arithmancy project we were paired with," I speak quickly then internally punch myself for the almost slip up I had. "Surely you can talk to Professor Vector, I don't know, tell him you want a different partner." Ron is now speaking quite frantically as well. It's not like me and Malfoy are actually partners on a project, it was just a simple excuse; since I couldn't exactly tell them why we were actually together in the library. 

_'No, actually guys, Malfoy was just rightfully fucking me until I was dripping down my leg; that's why we together in the library'_ No, Harry and Ron would definitely go into shock and never wake up if I told them that. 

"Really guys, it isn't a big deal; the project should only take a week or two to complete and might I remind the two of you that I can take care of my self," I say matter of factly. "Yeah 'Mione we know, but it's Malfoy we're talking about; and you already know about the _feeling_ I have." Here Harry goes again with the bloody death eater shit; clearly I would have been able to tell if Malfoy actually was a death eater, I mean we did have sex twice now; but then again we were never naked. Hm. And we will never have sex _naked_. That thought right there sends chills up my spine and I hug myself tighter with my arms. 

"Okay well, just be careful, and come straight to us if anything happens that makes you uncomfortable."

"I will Harry, don't worry about me. Also, you need to lay off with spying and all; we have no proof of your _feeling_ being correct and quite frankly it's a total invasion of privacy." I stand from the couch and make my way upstairs for another night of restless sleep Malfoy is causing me. As I lay in bed, completely tucked under the covers; I replay my time with Draco in the library over and over. I can't shake the feeling and thought of the sight of him, it was strange; the way he looked, the way he touched; it was all different. 

Not wanting to dig any deeper into the thought I surrender to the night; the stars gleaming through the window look so peaceful and I yearn for that feeling. The way the moon shines; full of hope and love, I pray to have that. The way the trees sway back and forth due to the nighttime breeze; brings calmness and faithfulness, I wonder if I'll have that.

~•~

I wake with the feeling of indifference. With worry of the unknown and I shake at that thought. After Theo and I left the cabinet, we were rightfully exhausted; we both passed out the moment our bodies hit the bed; he magic drained us of every ounce we had. At breakfast we both scarf down as mush food as possible, trying to regain some strength; there's no way we can keep this up, not for very long as least. 

My mind is absolutely sloshed; thinking back to my time in the library with Granger, it was bloody perplexing, the way she felt around me; especially since I was high out of my mind, it felt like nothing I've ever experienced before, I mean I came twice.. in a row. 

On our way to DADA with Professor Lupin I can't stop thinking about my skin tingling at her touch; and I went and fucking ruined it. As I take my seat next to Theo I shake the thought off and wait for the lesson to start. Except once Lupin enters he quickly vanishes all the desks, causing everyone who was already sitting to fall straight to the floor. OW.

A large cabinet appears in the room and my mind drifts to the particular cabinet already haunting me. "Alright class before we begin, could someone please tell me what a Boggart is," he bellows.

Surprisingly, no one raises there hand; not even Granger, I chuckle at the thought of her not knowing something. But then I see it, she's lost in thought, not even paying attention; I thought I'd never see the day where Hermione Granger isn't listening in class. The world must be ending sooner than I thought it would. 

"A boggart, is an amortal shape-shifting non-being that takes on the form of it's observers worst fear," he talks seriously. "The charm that repels a boggart is simple, yet it requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a boggart is laughter. What you need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing."

"So that being said, we are all going to line up and face a boggart, you greatest fear; then you will defend yourself by making it take form of something ridiculous."

"Right so, everyone repeat after me,"

"Riddikulus."

"Riddikulus," everyone shouts. "Marvelous, very good. Who would like to go first hm?" He eyeballs the crowd of us and I try blending in. "Ahh, Neville, come along," Longbottom looks absolutely terrified. "Okay so Neville, when facing the boggart I want you to turn it into something funny, using the charm 'Riddikulus', can you do that?" he reluctantly nods. The boggart takes shape of Professor Snape of all things, but it's very understandable; a chill even creeps up my neck at the sight of him. 

"Riddikulus!" Longbottom shouts and old grannie clothes wrap around Snape's form. "Very good Mr. Longbottom; next person."

We go through the line of the Weasel, Thomas, Theo, Blaise, and Granger; leaving me to be next up. And I really don't want to do this, not that I'm scared of what the boggart will take form of; but the fact that everyone will see it, my weakness, my shortcoming. I wonder what it will be. 

"Mr. Malfoy, please step forward," I catch onto the notion and take the appropriate stance; wand at the ready for what's about to jump out. Slowly the door handle turns and the door squeaks, a shadow on the floor, then a click of a cane; my heart beat picks up and I start sweating. It can't possibly be. 

White long hair at the shoulders, a snarl on it's face, it walks closer to me. I can't- can't, b-breath, my hand clenches my wand so hard it might snap. My father, stands in front of me; the room around me is laughing at the notion; but I'm struggling to hold in oxygen. A distant voice, calling. Lucius joins the laughter; ridiculing me, and I'm frozen. He lunges towards me and I stumble to the floor; he's on top of me, his hand around my throat and the other going to move the sleeve on my left arm. "No. Stop. Please don't," I realize the word spilling from my mouth. 

"Riddikulus!" Lupin shouts and I feel like I'm going to pass out. The room is silent, looking around I see all eyes on me. My eyes are burning, my chest is tight, my lungs failing slowly. I stand and run quickly out of the room. Another voice calling this time.

~•~

Seeing Draco's worst fear was shocking. His father. The man who Draco has made clear that is someone who he looks up to. Lucius Malfoy is his biggest fear. Seeing him tremble was intense, his loss of control, his composure and cockiness vanishing; it was all too much. A pang of worry tugs at my chest and I couldn't control my legs that started to move on their own, chasing the tall blonde out of the room. 

In the distance I see him stop. Standing at the Black Lake; he's muscles tensing, his hands clenched into fists, his breathing causing his whole body to move. 

At the Black Lake I take the time to calm my terrors. It's nice actually. Having my father be my own personal demon. Seeing him made everything clear; I was forced to notice my worst fear, to unlock the one thing I never let out. The cold air consumes me and I fight to chase the demons away. They've been haunting me since before I took the mark; all rooting from one soul provider. The fire that has never burnt out, the arsonist to the roaring flames that took control of my life. Lucius Malfoy.

The wind chills me, my left arm burns from his previous touch. I hate to admit my terror and worry at the thought of him revealing to everyone what I am. A monster under my pearly skin, someone who deserves nothing more than a lifetime of pain and anguish.

I jump at the feeling of small hands on my shoulder. I eye the witch that dragged me out of my thoughts; I stare at her with curious eyes. "Draco," she says quietly, I see a hint of worry in her eyes. Could it be that she actually feels sorry for me? Because I really don't need that; the last thing I need is her righteous pity. 

"What do you want Granger? Come here to gloat about me having locked demons stored away?" His tone is harsh and full of anger, all I want to do is ease it for him. "Of course not!" I shout with annoyance. "Then why come out here? Why chase me down here? I don't need anyone's pity, especially not yours." I pull away from her touch and strictly walk towards the bunch of trees. 

To my dismay she follows me over, even with my cruelness she can't seem to let anything go. Her and her bloody hero complex cannot just leave me to soak in my demons in peace. "Listen Malfoy, it was obvious that what happened back there affected you and I just wanted to make sure you were alright." 

"Great, you've checked on me; I'm fine, your conscious is clear so you can leave now." I lean against the tree and let my eyes fall shut; waiting to hear the inevitable footfalls of her retreat. Instead of hearing them grow further and further away, I hear them getting closer; my eyes snap open and my annoyance heightens. I don't want to be her next charity case, another notch on her belt. "Do you want to talk about what happened?" I ask, not leaving his side. 

The constant pull he has one me, even when he tries pushing me away, only grows stronger. I want to heal him of the pain he feels, make him feel better; lighter. Expose him to the world that's filled with hope and love. To stop the on going down pour of hurt and suffering. 

It's so strange that I could feel so strongly about him. It's as if he's never hurt me with his words before, just brushed to the side; to the back of my mind, in the hole I've dug not too long ago. I just need him to know that no matter how far he pushes me away, I'll never go.

And maybe someday I'll tell him.

But for now, I keep his eye contact and against everything I don't back down. "What, so you think just because I fucked you it means I want to actually talk to you? I know I'm good but I'm not that good." He laughs cruelly. But I don't let his words affect me, I know he's just saying those things so I'll leave him alone. But the boy in front of me is begging me to stay, pleading with me to help him through whatever it is he's struggling with. 

"Listen Draco," she steps into me, barely an inch standing between us, "when at night, when your tears blur your vision, when the ache in your core is too much to handle, and when the air in your lungs starts to dissipate; you can find me, when you're ready to stop the feeling of the constant stinging ache you're putting yourself through." She talks so calming, wanting me to just reach out already. When I think she's about to turn and walk away she says, "While facing trouble, we persevere."

That pushes me over the edge, off the cliff I've been tiptoeing on, waiting to let go and just free fall. It brings me back to my mother; her soothing words always bringing me back. 

"Fuck it." I say while stepping into her, grabbing the back of her neck and crashing my lips to hers. It's almost punishing, the way she's clinging to me, the way I pull her lip in between my teeth. The kiss isn't slow or sweet, no it's cruel and filled with pain.

I'm eager to show her the kind of ache I'm in. Begging her to soothe it, pleading with her to help me. To suppress my demons away. Catch me as I'm falling. Hold me while the bleeding doesn't stop. 

I can feel his pain, he's being aggressive and I fight for a breath. I wanted to ease his pain and make him feel just an ounce more of oxygen but I'm struggling myself. Setting fire to my forests and I let it burn, this dancing is killing me slowly.

He walks me back to the tree, my back hitting the trunk hard; he continues to attack my mouth. Our tongues fighting for dominance and his hands roaming my body like it's the last time he'll ever have. The boy on the outside is looking to punish me but the boy who looks at me with silver glossy eyes says something completely different.

I can't differentiate between the two. Who actually wants me? Who needs me? I start to overthink and panic at the taste of his lips and tongue. He felt like silk and smelt of spearmint; but tasted like poison, slowly starting to rot my body from the inside out, numbing everything.

I want him more than anything else in this moment but I realize how toxic and selfish that is of me. To take advantage of the hurting boy clutching my body so tightly.

I'm so afraid that if I let her go she'll disappear. That she'll see me for who I really am and walk away from me. I bite down on her lip and she moans at the action. My knee moves between her thighs and she ever so slightly rubs herself on me, easing the pressure between her legs. I grow harder at the thought of her soaking her knickers with her sweet juices. 

She pulls away from me and I instantly miss her touch. She stares at me with her beautiful brown eyes; her mouth still open, fighting to catch her breath. "I need to go Malfoy,"

I stare at her with confusion, isn't this what she wanted? "Backing out on me already Granger?" 

She moves past me and straightens her outfit out, she looks like she's contemplating saying anything at all and just walking away. But she was never one to back down from anything. "No," she says calmly.

I used to think of love as something beautiful. I used to think it could be simple, something that you just let yourself fall into. Now I know what it really is.

A death sentence. 

"I'm not backing away; I'm just drowning," the fog from the lake consumes her as she walks away. 

I realize that I too, am drowning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! Here's chapter 4!  
> I hope you liked it. As always thank you for reading and I hope that you stick around to see how everything unfolds. Please leave any comments if you wish! See you during chapter 5 <3
> 
> Also quick disclaimer, I know that in the Harry Potter they learn about the boggart in Prisoner of Azkaban. But for the sake of my story and plot this is when they learn about it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waves.

_You're a poison and I know that is the truth_

_All my friends think you're vicious_

_And they say you're suspicious_

_You keep dreaming and dark scheming_

_Yeah, you do_

_• I feel like I'm drowning •_

~•~

When Granger leaves me, my thoughts run wild; confusion and lust flood my entire mind and body. The cold winter night finally hits me and I make way back to the castle. As my mind doesn't seize, I take this time to really think about what it is I'm doing; obviously Granger and I would never work. No. That's completely out of the question, I as the youngest death eater and her as Gryffindor's Princess; that could never happen between us, we could never cross that line. Even if there was a line to cross; I'm not so sure I would even want to take that step with her. 

We are basically in the middle of a war and now is not the time for romance. No, now is the time for something much darker.

I have zero clue as to how I feel for her; she's Hermione Granger for crying out loud, swotty know-it-all, scar face's best friend, and profound Golden Girl. I hate her, can't stand the thought of her. Or at least I thought I did. My mind is in complete shambles whenever I think of her, the pistols of mind are bare, and all I want is to make sense of this situation. 

From the way we have recently interacted my mind and body would have to disagree with my immature side; the way her golden eyes stare into my cold ones, there's nothing like it; her warmth wraps me like a blanket. She pulls me into her trance and I'm practically begging her to help me out of this hole I've dug. 

I want to hurt her as much as I want to fuck her. 

I want to show her pain as much as I want to protect her from everything evil in this world. 

There's a fine line between love and hate. 

And I am definitely having trouble differentiating between the two.

Even when trying to shake her off, she spreads me open; the only way of knowing me. Behind my eyes, in my soul; a sense of trepidation flows. No matter how hard I try and fight against the current, she still has my allegiance. In just a short amount of time, I've never felt this kind of pull before. My mind telling me it's a bad idea to get involved with her; especially since I know that this time won't last long. 

But every part of my being needs her. Even if it's only for these few dreary months; even though I know this won't end well.

I've come to the conclusion that whatever it is we are doing together I don't want it to end. No fucking way am I going to stop wanting to shag, snog, or simply be around her. So the next chance I get, I'm going to propose something to her. And I pray to Merlin she wants this just as badly as I do; because as of right now, she's my only sense of oasis.

~•~

"Hermione, is that you," Ginny's voice calls from her four poster bed. "Yes Gin, it's me." I let out a deep sigh, and disrobe from my school outfit. After leaving Draco by the lake I decided to skip dinner and clear my head in the library; that's where I do my best thinking and rationing. 

I have never been so confused in my life. Why is this happening to me? And of all people why does it have to be Draco Malfoy? Childhood bully, pureblood, hater of muggle borns. He couldn't be any worse for me; and yet, I can't get him off my mind. His touch, smell, voice; all engraved into my soul. He interrupts my thoughts and dreams, he fogs my senses and fills me up with something my hormones can't seem to contain. It's frightening yet ataractic; overwhelming yet tranquilizing. 

The boy screaming, calling me, begging me for help. I can't shy away from it, I won't. But I don't know how long I'll last in this drought. It's like we're dancing together but I don't know any of the steps. He's dragging me across the floor and I'm helpless to his lead, trying to find the way, the right placement. 

Pitter patter crosses the floor across from me, "Where were you at dinner? Have you eaten?" Ginny asks with a bit of worry. "Just needed to clear my head is all," I respond and climb into bed. "At the library again right?" we both giggle and she jumps into bed with me. "You know me too well Gin," and it's true. Ginny is probably the most observant out of all my friends. Merlin knows Ronald doesn't notice a thing with food stuffed in his mouth and lately all Harry is concerned about is bleeding Draco. 

Something we have in common these days. 

Ginny picks up on the hesitation in my voice and pushes to know more, "Hermione, is everything okay? I just mean that-," she looks at me with deep thought, "-you haven't been around lately and I know it's hard with Ron right now and don't even get me started on Harry, but you know I'm always here right?" 

As much as I love Ginny and appreciate her condor all I want is to fall into the night and let the cotton of my bed take me through slumber, "I know Ginny; and I'm so thankful for you, but today and quite frankly these past few weeks have put a strain on me and I really just need sleep right now, we can talk more tomorrow okay?" She leans in, still with worry glowing across her features, and pulls me into her embrace. 

And I can't lie, that's exactly what I needed. 

~•~

Tonight the demons haunt me, chase me through the night and drag me out of rest. Since facing the boggart I haven't got a lick of sleep, and it's been almost five days. That also means it's been five days since I've spoken to Granger; and my plan to get her alone is crumbling by the second. I'm pretty sure she's avoiding me and it's right annoying. I also haven't stepped foot in the Room of Hidden Things in about week, just another thing haunting my every move.

As the days move on, my mind is on the day that I do fix the bleeding cabinet. What happens then? Shivers run up my spine and my chest tightens at the thought of my second task. I quickly clear my thoughts and shove everything to the back, pinching the petals closed and calming my breath. 

I'm need to get Granger alone because I might explode from my distressed thoughts and I need an outlet; maybe I'll ask Theo if he wants to smoke later. I roll out of bed and head for the loo, taking a good look at my reflection and I can't help but feel the bile rising in my throat. I'm pathetic, a sorry excuse for a man. But that's where I'm wrong, I'm not even a man yet; I'm only fucking sixteen for Salazar's sake and I'm tasked with killing the greatest wizard of all time, forced to take a mark of a madman, and let psychopaths into a school full of children as young as eleven. 

When I can no longer look at myself I set to the shower, turning it to scolding hot; enough to burn the mark resting on my left arm. The pain that increases on my skin is something that I deserve, I deserve to burn, to suffer a sad death for all the wrongs I have done and will do in the future.

My life has set course before I was born, all of this, is inevitable. A dance I have to complete, never missing any of the steps. 

Once the water has pricked my skin long enough, I jump out and get dressed; today I will get Granger alone, I need to see her, be near her; I'll do anything to have her scent clog my senses again. "Ready to go Theo?" 

"Yeah I don't know about you but I'm famished," he says with an anxious sigh. 

~•~

I've been avoiding him. I truly have, even though I basically said he could find me if he needed anything the last time we were together. I was hoping he would at least try reaching out more but then again I can't expect anything from that wizard. But today is different. Today I feel his icy eyes land on me more than once during breakfast. His glare is so strong and I resist from ever looking up; scared that I might see a repeat performance of his lip-lock with Daphne. 

Instead I hurry through breakfast and make way to the library. Since it's Friday I have an open day with no lessons; so I want to take this time to get ahead with some assignments and essay's. I take up my usual place in the far back of the library in my favorite desk; away from everyone and the growing noises that shouldn't be permitted in a library. In front of me I have laid out all of my upcoming assignments; most aren't due for a couple of weeks but I like staying ahead, I don't have to worry about rushing last minute. I have a system and I stick with it.

My main focus today is getting started on my Arithmancy essay, I haven't quite found the right book I would like to use as a source yet so now is a good time as any to find one. Heading through the stacks my mind wanders the properties of Arithmancy charts; a strange thing indeed, the simple discipline that numbers could predict something so remarkable as the future. My eyes scan the books for something that might stick out to me but nothing does, I head to the restricted section and take my time with each title and author. 

The last shelf at the end of the narrow hallway presents a rather old looking book, run down and almost of it's spine, and covered in a thick layer of dust. The title of the book is "The Power and Message of Numerology," by Mathilda Grimblehawk. I've read a bit on Mathilda and I think this might be the source I've been looking for. As I walk back through the stacks of the restricted section, nose deep in the old book, I collide with a hard front; my eyes reach up and land on the eyes that never leave my mind, coolly wide and studious pushing through his iris's. 

"Malfoy." His mouth pulls into a devilish smirk, my body tingles and a soreness furnishes between my legs at his action. Bloody hell.

"Back to Malfoy are we? What happened to Draco hm?" I knew she would be in here, her and her swottiness couldn't resist taking this day of no lessons to get ahead in work. Predictable as ever she is.

"Well you don't call me Hermione, so why should I call you Draco?" I fight back with a pretty reasonable excuse. His face changes at my statement, his features glow as he steps closer to me; I don't even realize that my back is now against a shelf and his arms on either side of my head; enclosing me in his presence, trapping me with his stare, drugging me with his compelling scent. 

"Hermione." That's all I say, a statement, not a question; just by her name rolling off my lips I can tell how badly I'm affecting her right now, and it's absolutely perfect. I could watch her squirm all day, any day for that matter; but preferably under me, perhaps in a bed. My cock jumps at that thought, but I push that back because right now I need to stay focused; she needs to agree to this. 

"Draco." I respond with a smirk, he's rubbing off on me I suppose, this is very bad. His face is so close to mine I can feel his minty breath ghosting my lips and all I want is to capture his between my teeth- "I wanted to talk to you, Hermione," -and suck his plush lips until they're red and swollen. Laughter pools out from his mouth and it pulls me out of the trance; I've been caught... staring at his lips. My cheeks burn from the notion and I try to steady my breathing before speaking.

Fuck. "And what about m-may I ask?" Stay calm, focus, be rational Hermione. Him being so close is driving me bloody wild; my mind is mush and the throbbing between my thighs grow, I'm practically soaking my knickers and he hasn't even touched me. 

"Is there something wrong, Hermione?" I take advantage of the situation and step even closer to her. "You seem a bit... distracted." 

Darker than the ocean, deeper than the sea. Like a whirlpool, I'm imprisoned in the vortex of his telling eyes. He's got everything, he's got what I need; and right now I can't focus on anything other than him, the noise fading to the background, all I hear is our synchronized breaths; matched to the same tune, hearts beating on the same wave length, all while we dance to the same tempo. 

Suddenly, I'm pulled from the ocean, the music cuts out and the dance ends; he steps away and I miss his closeness almost instantly. "You wanted to talk?" I say after a beat.

"Yes, come take a seat with me," I pick up the old book she didn't seem to noticed she dropped and head over to the secluded desk she is currently occupying. Once we are both seated my mouth becomes dry rather quickly, I wouldn't be able to stand her rejection if she came to that. 

I let out an anxious cough, "So things between us have progressed rather, uh, quickly; you could say," 

"Er- yes that is a um, good observation." I have no idea where he is going with this so I do my best to keep up. "I for one have enjoyed our little 'meetings' more than I could even describe; and I would like to offer a proposition." I meet her eyes, now or never. 

"I can agree that I have found our 'meetings' quite beneficial," I let out a giggle from my formalness. "What is your said proposition?" His face shines with hesitation but also excitement.

"Well, since we have both agreed to enjoying are recent activities, on multiple occasions might I add, I would like to continue with that; more regularly." Our eyes lock and I can't read her, I have no idea what she's thinking in that beautiful brain of hers. Beautiful? Fuck me. 

"I'm confused, you want to er- continue, h-having-"

"Sex." I finish for her, rip off the band aide right?

My breath hitches at his forwardness, my cheeks now on fire at his statement; and I am one-hundred percent positive that I will need to change my knickers. He actually wants to have s-sex with me? "Say something Granger." I hate the silence and now the lack of eye contact, on her part. 

"Okay." Fuck it; or more accurately, fuck me.

"Okay?" I wonder if my mind made what just came out of her mouth up. "Well like you said, we both find having sex with each other to be good; well more than good for me, but that's besides the point-"

"No, do tell me Hermione, tell me just how much you enjoy having sex with me." I cut her off because it's just too good, her rambling and all. "Oh come off it Draco, I can tell that I affect you just as much as you affect me; admit it." His eyebrow raises and I can tell he's enjoying this too much. 

"Fine, yes, sex with you has been more than good for me too; it's been bloody fantastic. The way it feels to finally slide into your tight dripping cunt, the soft moans that escape your throat, the way your pussy clenches my dick, and then when you finally come; it's all too good." I tease her the way I know will affect her; fuck I can tell just by the way she crosses and uncrosses her legs beneath the table. 

His voice low and seductive; just pressuring me to take him on the desk right now, "Okay, you've made your point; we can both agree that the sex has been bloody perfect, now moving on," I straighten up and get to business, "how should we go about this, should we have rules to follow?"

"You and your bloody rules, can't we just, I don't know; go with the flow?" 

"Well considering it's going to be hard to find places we can actually have _sex,_ we should at least find a spot where we can meet regularly, and also we should set some guidelines so it doesn't interfere with school." 

"Way to be spontaneous; but I do see your point, I think I know a place where we can meet. As for when we meet, what did you have in mind?" I can't believe we are actually discussing this right now.

"Well, I am fairly busy with seven classes; but I think that we could meet at least twice throughout the week and once on the weekend, what do you think?" I hope it works for him, because Merlin, I need him. 

Of course she's taking seven fucking classes, but meeting three times during a whole week does sound promising. "Yes that'll work for me, any particular days?" Since we won't be able to work around my schedule; for obvious reasons, I'll just have to work on the cabinet every other day we aren't together. 

I take a moment to think this through, I don't want to put my work to the side so I have to be careful about choosing which days I'm free to be with him, "Er-, how about on Tuesdays and Thursdays during the school week and Saturdays for the weekend? Since we both have no lessons on Fridays, that could be our back up day in case something comes up on another day?" I'm hesitant in asking because I'm afraid of scaring him off with my.. er- tidiness? 

Something about scheduled sex is fucking hot; I'm practically dripping with anticipation, it's slipping through the pores of my body and my cock springs to action in an instant. "Yes, that sounds good to me." We stare at each other for a moment, never breaking eye contact, does she feel it too? I fucking hope so.

"Okay so I guess we could start tomorrow since it's Saturday, and um, er- where is it that we will be uh- meeting?" In what world do I, Hermione Granger, lose all ability to speak? One with Draco Malfoy burning holes in my face, that's where; Godric it's hot in here. 

"Don't worry about that bit," standing from the table, my hands flat on the top, "I'll owl you tomorrow morning." I wink at her, I fucking wink with my smug face and I can see for a brief moment that she shudders at the notion. Salazar, what have I gotten myself into? 

I suppose time will tell. 

He winked at me. Can I even wait until tomorrow to be with him? Shit.

~•~

Suspense and excitement run me wild; chasing me through the night and I'm just waiting to be caught. Once Draco left me in the library the night prior I tried my best to work through my essay but got literally no where. He's words clung to my brain and I couldn't help but feel guilty.

Guilty that I've even agreed to do this sort of thing, especially with him. But then a rush of lust washes that feeling away and I find myself just desperate for him to reach out. I tossed and turned throughout the night just wondering what this might mean for us; we haven't clearly stated we are in a relationship and I wouldn't expect that, but I can't help but wonder if he has other agreements with other witches. A sickening feeling overcomes me and a flurry of doubt stings my chest. 

All morning I have been waiting for something from him; anything. I got up extra early and watched as the sun licked the tops of the mountains; shining down on the castle in all it's glory. With my body washed, my hair tamed, and my face bare - exactly how I like it - I head to the Great Hall for breakfast. Except, when I sit down with my friends and watch as they pile their plates full of food; I can't bring myself to do the same. 

Just knowing that Draco will eventually see my completely bare-naked is enough to stop me from indulging in the feast. Instead I take the pot of coffee and fill my cup to the brim, whilst adding milk and sugar. As I slowly sip from my cup the owls of the daily posts swoop in, coming from all directions. An elegant eagle owl heads straight for me and drops a concealed letter on my empty plate. I feel everyone staring from around me, curious eyes glued to the parchment laying on my plate.

"What's that 'Mione?" Ron and Harry say in perfect unison. I chance a glance up and just past Harry's shoulder I see a hint of silver studying my expression; a slow burning sensation creeps up my neck and pools between my legs. 

Before speaking again I look away from his stare and cover it with a cough, "Oh er-, I'm not really sure actually." Of course that's a lie; I know exactly what the letter is and exactly who it's from. Eagerness now taking control of my body; all I want to do is rip open the letter and see what it entails but with every eye on me I refrain from doing so. 

"It's probably nothing Won Won; Hermione isn't that special to be receiving anything noteworthy," Lavender says loudly and Harry coughs and rubs his head at the awkwardness. 

"No one asked your opinion Brown," Ginny; I love you. "C'mon Hermione open it!" Ginny shouts, just as excited as I am to see what it says. I look up once more; my eyes landing on his once more and he gives a subtle nod, encouraging me to open it. So I do.

The parchment between my fingers; getting closer to my nose, I smell his perfect scent. My eyes closing, taking in as much of him as I can; and I peel open the seal of the note. My heart beat grows rapid and my knickers practically soaked from his written words.

_HG,_

_Meet me on the seventh floor in the left corridor at nine tonight._

_But before we meet, I want to think of all the things I'm going to do to you. Think about the way my fingers feel against your throbbing clit, the way my dick feels when I move inside of you, think about me with my mouth attached to your neck._

_Think about the burning sensation spreading between your thighs right now._

_P.S, I can't wait to finally be inside of you again and have you tight walls squeeze me._

_DM_

I read over it three times, my knickers absolutely destroyed. I finally look up from the parchment and remember where I am; the eyes that are still on me, more curios than ever. "Shit, Hermione, that must have been some letter since it has you all hot and bothered!" Ginny says while laughing. "What? What does it say 'Mione?" Ron jumps in sounding extra impatient, then before I know it, he's gripping the note in my hands and taking it swiftly. "Ronald! How dare you!" 

"What the fuck?" Oh no, no, no, no; I'm fucked. " 'Mione, what the bloody hell is going? It's fucking blank." Oh thank Merlin. I thank the Gods for giving Draco a brain, he must of put some sort of protective spell on the note so only I can see what's written. My eyes meet his and he's staring down at his food with that devilish smirk he always uses. I blush even harder; the fact that he sent me a dirty note that would only let me read turns me on even more, I'm going to have to run to my dorm before class so I can change my knickers. 

"Looks like 'Mione has a secret admirer!" Ginny plays while wiggles her brows up and down; and I let out a bubbled laugh. 

"Who is it 'Mione," Harry finally speaks up, "Oh um, it's no one, not of your concern." 

Ginny nudges me with her elbow and gives me a delightful-encouraging smile; I rise my the seat, "Okay well, I best be going; see you two in Charms," I point at the boys and stride toward Gryffindor Tower. 

~•~ 

With fresh knickers and my books in my bag, I make my way out of Gryffindor Tower and find Harry and Ron in the corridor waiting for me to join them before Charms. "Hey 'Mione, we thought we'd wait up for you and walk to class together; if that's alright with you?" 

"Of course that's alright with me Harry, I've really missed you two. Now tell me you guys aren't that far behind in work?" They both look to each other before looking at me, and that tells me everything I need to know.

"For Godric's sake, you two are helpless without me!"

Since school started up again we haven't all hung out; we have barely even seen each other besides at breakfast or passing in the common room. Truth be told, I have really missed their company; my best friends, brothers. They will always be apart of my life and I wish I could tell them everything that has happened between me and Draco but I know I'll never be able to. This is what friends are for; to be able to confide in someone you trust and love, tell them about your crush's and other secrets; but I sadly won't be able to confide in anyone but the stars and moon of the night. 

With a huff of sadness, I tread with them through the halls until we meet the Charms classroom. 

As we walk, Harry and Ron in front of me, into class it seems that with the detour back to the dorms caused us to arrive just before class is about to begin and most desks are filled. Harry and Ron deep in conversation don't even realize as they take the last desk, leaving me to sit in the only open chair at the desk with Theodore Nott. 

Harry with wide eyes looks to me apologetically and I dismiss him with a wave; this won't be too bad. Theodore hasn't personally insulted me so I'm not too worried about that but the daggers Pansy is sending my way is enough for me to worry; she stares at me like I've just kidnapped her puppy and I haven't even done anything. A shift to my right where Nott is seated, "Good Morning Granger."

"Theodore." I say with a nod and he laughs. "Theodore? Why so formal? Call me Theo."

I take a moment to really take in his features when I finally bring my chin up and I consider him for a minute, "Okay, Theo, you may call me Hermione." 

"Hermione." His feature light up but not in a way I was expecting; no, instead, he's somewhat curious; like he's just discovered something, found the key to a locked box. Then he turns he's head to Draco. Since arriving in class I didn't even notice that Draco was seated with Blaise Zabini and that he's been staring at the interaction between Theo and I. Well he looks mad for some reason; red and hot, his fists balled into fists. Theo turns back to me with a smirk like he's just won the lottery. 

What the fuck is Theo doing? He stares at me with a knowing look and then smiles at Hermione. Blaise nudges me in the side and I snap out of whatever trance I was just stuck in. Seeing her face when she read the letter I sent has made my day. The flush rising up her neck, the way she shifted in her seat as she was taking in my words; it was enough for me to grow uncomfortably hard during breakfast and had to wait for everyone to leave before I could stand. The anticipation is killing me, just waiting for the day to go by and the sun to set so I can finally have my way with her. My cock jumps and I move quickly to release some pressure; Theo noticing my action, laughs, he laughs at me and then turn back to Granger.

~•~

Charms went incredibly slow and by the time the rest of my classes are finished I've lost all patience to meet Granger. I've been hard all day; having to cover my bulge with my robes and Theo keeps sending me strange looks like he knows something.

Just as I'm leaving to finally meet her, Theo stops me in the common room and drags me back into our room. Fucking great.

"Listen Theo, not now okay; whatever it is you want to say needs to wait because I am needed else where. So if you'll excu-," He cuts me off with his hand and steps in front of the door. 

"Ah ah ah, not so fast Mister." Whatever this is, needs to wait, because there is a sexy little witch just waiting for me to fuck her and I've had blue balls all fucking day. "Nott, move the fuck out of my way."

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

"Going on? Mate what the bloody hell are you talking about?" There is no way he actually knows.

"Don't act dumb on my account Draco, I know,"

"You know, what exactly?"

"Oh come on! How long has it been going on?" Now I'm confused. He sees that I'm genuinely not grasping what he's saying, "Fuck Draco! Between you and the Golden Girl, Hermione Granger, ringing any bells?!" 

"For fucks sake Nott, keep your voice down!"

"Ah ha! So it is true, and don't worry I already silenced the room." 

"How'd you know?" I ask, not even trying to deny that he's right. "Well I saw that familiar owl this morning leaving a note on her plate, then the way she blushed as she read and would just for a second look towards us; I had a suspicion. But I didn't know for sure until this morning in Charms, when she sat with me I could basically feel the heat radiating off your body and the daggers you were sending my way wasn't exactly subtle." He laughs at my actions.

"Oh sod off, now will you excuse me? I'll tell you everything later but right now I need to leave."

I'm not worried about how Theo would react to me and Granger. Theo is the one who will always have my back and I know he isn't like other Slytherins who hold blood purity and all that bullshit. And if I'm being honest with myself, I don't even know where I stand in all that. I know being muggle-born doesn't make their blood dirty but it's hard to just dismiss everything I have learned growing up. I know Granger is quite frankly the smartest witch at this school but it still doesn't beat the fact that she has muggle parents and muggle blood. Before I let myself think too hard on the topic I swiftly move around Theo and pull the door open. 

Having this unnecessary discussion with him has caused me to be late and I don't want an angry witch on my hands. Or maybe I do, angry sex would be fucking fantastic with her. My dick hurts from how much I've been hard throughout the day and I'm just waiting for the sweet euphoric release.

~•~

I head up to the seventh floor just before nine and I wonder where it is he'll take me. I've been so eager all day and the waiting is quite honestly drowning me. I arrive right at nine but to my surprise he isn't here. I decide to wait a while longer; thinking he might be just running late. The coolness of the early winter breeze chills my body; I wrap my arms around my chest tightly as I chance a peak at my wrist watch.

9:30.

I still stand my ground even when the night-crawling wind picks up. Anxiety swarming my nerves when my eyes look around the dark desolate corridor. The silence is louder than ever, you would be able to hear a pin drop and crash on my solid floor. 

9:45.

I grow impatient but also very confused. I read the note more than I can remember and it specifically said nine. A pang of wavering apprehension hit me hard in the chest and travels down to my gut. Was this all a trick? A plan to make me look a fool? Just imagining him and the other Slytherin's laughing in the shadows; watching me wait for something that will never happen, sends me into a fit of self-consciousness. 

There can't be another explanation, there's no excuse for him to be almost an hour late. Even if he did have a good excuse he still could have sent something; literally anything. But instead, I stand here in this empty corridor; surrounded by uncanny night, whispers of the wind, beneath the moons shine, all by myself.

10:00.

Looks like the joke really is on me. A fool is what I am. 

~•~

I couldn't get out of our room quick enough. My interaction with Theo was not ideal but I should be able to make it to the corridor just before nine. As I walk I realize what's actually happening; I realize who it is waiting for me to come. A beautiful intelligent witch, Hermione fucking Granger, the brightest witch of our age. She's waiting for me and I can't believe it.

It's just before nine when I'm about to round the corner of the seventh floor when a small hand shoots out and grabs my wrist. The dark corridor does wonders on my vision and it's difficult to make anything out in the blackness. Before I know what's happening, I'm being pulled by my collar and shoved into a broom closet; lips instantly crash onto mine and I give into the feeling. 

But something doesn't seem right, something feels different. Much different from Hermione's perky lips, the hands tangled in my hair are not soft enough and too aggressive, the little moans mingling in the air above us are too high pitched. The kiss is cold; yet familiar.

I pull back after what was probably too long; my eyes adjust to the dull light around us and the witch standing in front of me is definitely not Hermione. "Told you that wasn't the last time I was going to kiss you." Daphne Greengrass in the flesh.

"Daph! What the fuck!" I untangle from her strong hold and take a step back from her. "Oh hush Draco, you liked it and we both know it!" I absolutely did not like it. It was nothing compared to the way my witch kisses me; nothing compared to the gentle hands that grip my locks, or the way her breathy moans escape her throat when I suck her pulse point, and it definitely does not compare to the way she feels wrapped around my hard dick. Just the thought of that makes me hard.. once again.

"To hell I did!" 

She smirks and steps closer, "Part of you says otherwise," one hand landing on my chest and the other grips me through my trousers. Laughter pools out of her mouth when I moan at the sudden contact. 

"See?" Her lips attach themselves to my neck and I fight to push her away. "Daphne, I am a sixteen year old boy, of course I'm going to react when you touch my hard-on!" I have been painfully hard all day and I'm about ready to spill in my trousers just by her touch, but it's so wrong. 

"The fact of the matter is Draco, that you are indeed hard. So why don't I take care of that for you? Hm?" She moves her hand around the tent forming in my trousers and I become completely delirious, the only noise that I hear is the one from my belt buckle hitting the floor and I'm about to explode.

The cool nightly wind hits my bare legs; my pants falling to the floor and I completely black out and succumb to the feeling of her hands running up my thighs. Her hot breath so close to the tip of my prick and I shake in anticipation. Cold hands grab my waistband and slide them down my legs, I can quite literally feel my dick jump at the attention it's about to get. 

Her small hands finally grip my length and pump eagerly. "Shit." 

Her giggle fills the room and it's just enough to pull me back to reality but not enough to stop what's about to happen. I stare down at the blonde witch on her knees, her blue eyes latched onto mine as she finally takes me in her mouth. "Oh fuck," the feeling is too good, but it feels incredibly wrong. I think to the witch waiting for me in an empty corridor and regret crashes over me.

The way Daphne is bobbing her head and taking me in all the way makes me push that feeling to the side. Her warm mouth wrapped around my length and her right hand massaging my aching balls. She pulls back with a pop and attaches to my dick immediately, her tongue swirls patterns along my shaft and my hips start moving on their own accord.

I grip the back of her head and begin fucking her mouth. "Fuck, fuck I'm so close." The small noises that escape her throat make me spiral, the tip of my dick hits the back of her throat and I reach ecstasy; rapturing me blissfully as my come spills down her throat. "Holy fuck." After today that's exactly what I needed, I didn't last long but that was expected considering how I didn't wank after having multiple hard-ons. 

Now as she stands up, pulling my trousers and underpants up with her, I fully take in what happened. The witch in front of me does not have golden bushy hair, she does not have big doe eyes, and there is no warmth wrapping me safely. Fuck. No. No. Fuck, what did I just do? I buckle my belt quickly and start to leave the closet; just wanting to rid and forget this ever happened. "Draco, wait, should we talk about what happened?"

"No fucking way Greengrass. You do not speak of this to anyone, do you understand?!" With my left finger in her face, I look at my wrist watch for the time.

10:00.

Shit. I am one hundred percent the world's biggest dick. Maybe I can come up with a reason to explain to her. I can't have this end before it even started; and all because I couldn't keep my dick in my pants, but I doubt she's still waiting for me there. I decide to approach her tomorrow, take the night to think of something to tell her; but the guilt is drowning me. I turn to Daphne, "Let's just go okay?"

I turn the handle of the door and open it for her to exit first, I follow but soon see her stop dead in her tracks. I look up and through the dark hallway of the castle is one big eyed beautiful witch staring at us. Her eyes don't hide that she's hurt, they gloss over and she gasps at the image displaying before her. 

~•~

As I was walking back to the staircases I heard a creak in the distance and approached carefully. When a door opened and Daphne Greengrass stepped out just before Draco my heart hit the floor. I fucking knew it. 

Humiliation and sadness is the only thing I feel at the moment. My heart no longer beating, my breath no longer flowing; I stare at the two Slytherins in front of me and see exactly that. Snakes.

I was so stupid for even thinking for a second that something like this would happen for me. So stupid to think that the king of all the snakes wouldn't absolutely destroy my confidence. Like the ocean; the tides rising and falling. My waves have been slowly growing from last night, almost reaching the top and in an instant that's taken away from me. The fall of the tide pulls me with it and the salty waters flood my system. 

He the moon and I the sun. Our gravitational pull was so strong but so dangerous. The combined effects over exert themselves and the waves crash on the shore break, pulling me from underneath. 

All we do is stare at each other and the water forming in my eyes finally escape but I turn my head before either of them could see. Pushing everything back; every feeling, every sting, every emotion now gone. Disappeared with the wind and taken to another breeze. 

The draught growing stronger. 

I turn on my heel and head another direction. I ignore the loud steps not far behind me and keep track of where I'm headed. My pace picks up and all noise is ringing my ears; piercing my skull and making me deaf. 

I race to the fat lady, almost there. A hand shoots out and grabs me firmly. Fuck.

"Hermione." I say; I need this to be okay. Worry and guilt take over everything else; and then I see her golden eyes. Except this time their cold, they aren't warm; they are filled with hate and hurt. "Please, can I explain?" My voice cracks and I hold her tightly, not wanting her to disappear from my vision or touch. 

"No, I-I need to get to bed," She shakes and I notice her blue lips and icy skin. My hands move on their own and subconsciously run them up and down her bare arms to warm her up. 

His touch is so gentle, so comforting and safe. But how can that be when he's the one who caused my grief. I can't fall for the trap, I find myself no longer able to sway to the dance I've never heard of. "This was a mistake," I breathe out.

"What? What was?" Please don't do this. She's my only safety, she said she would be there for me when the ache become too much, when the oxygen leaves my lungs; she said I could come to her. But I have royally fucked this one up. "Listen, I'm sorry but it's not what it looked like." I try pleading with her. "No, I'm sorry Malfoy. I'm sorry for ever believing that thi-" I don't finish, I don't want to pour salt on my already burning wound so I just drop it. I pull from his hold and the fat lady portrait swings open. 

I step through the threshold and in the distant hear a quiet, 

"Hermione, please." 

"I can't do this without you."

My body now drifting under the current. 

Watching her leave poisons me more than I thought it would. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 5! I know it's been a while since the last update but I have been super busy with work and school and couldn't find enough time to just sit down and write. 
> 
> I will also be taking some time to revise the first chapter; I read it over the other day and was not satisfied with it. I did write the first a very long time ago and never got around to editing it the way I like so I will be doing that soon. I won't change anything major, just clean it up a bit.
> 
> As always I send love to everyone reading and sticking with my story! It really does mean the world to me; I also wanted to mention that the story will be picking up pretty quickly. There are so many aspects going into it and I have been planning for a very long time to set up everything the way I want; I can't wait to see everything unfold!


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